George Zimmerman

Infamous Florida man and disgraced killer George Zimmerman has been banned from yet another dating app.

The reason? He lies about who he is, including his name, to try to lure women who would never give him the time of day if they knew who he was.

In February of 2012, George Zimmerman murdered Trayvon Martin and got away with it because America being supremely f--ked with regard to all matters pertaining to race is not something that just started with the ascendancy of the MAGA chuds.

As you may have heard, Jay-Z has been working on a documentary about Trayvon Martin, a teen whose life was cut tragically short.

Interviews are a normal part of any documentary, but George Zimmerman's response to producers interviewing people in his life has been ... to threaten to kill Jay-Z and feed him to an alligator.

If you woke this morning with the feeling that the world is a relentlessly unfair and often exceedingly cruel place, well, the bad news is you're right.

The good news is, sometimes George Zimmerman gets punched in the face!

Last week, it was widely reported that murderous professional Internet troll and sentient colon polyp George Zimmerman planned to auction off the gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin.

In the midst of this divisive election season, it's important to focus on the things that all reasonable human beings can agree on.

For instance, we all know George Zimmerman is a sentient post-Chipotle dump, and he provided us with further evidence today.

Last time we checked on George Zimmerman, he was telling his 11,000 Twitter followers that if Obama had a son he would be a murderer.

Something of an ironic comment coming from an actual murderer, but bizarrely, it was favorited and re-tweeted hundreds of times, because somehow, George Zimmerman still has admirers.

We hope you've already eaten lunch, because you'll need something to throw up once you get a load of the idiocy that acquitted murderer George Zimmerman is currently spewing all over the Internet.

George Zimmerman, the man best known for being acquitted in the murder of Trayvon Martin in 2013, has suffered a minor wound after being shot in Lake Mary, Florida just moments ago. 

Few details are known at this time, but witnesses say Zimmerman left the scene under his own power and received immediate medical attention.

Ever since he was acquitted for the murder of Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman has gone out of his way to prove that he's every bit the violent psychopath that his critics always claimed he is.

Back in September, Zimmerman threatened to kill a man following a near-traffic accident. A few months later, Zimmerman kicked off 2015 by getting arrested for hurling a wine bottle at his girlfriend.

George Zimmerman allegedly hurled a wine bottle at his girlfriend's head last weekend, resulting in the latest in a string of arrests for Trayvon Martin's killer.

George Zimmerman had yet another brush with the law this week after he allegedly threatened to kill a man following a road rage incident. Seriously.

WSVN reports that the altercation took place in Lake Mary, Florida.

George Zimmerman's controversial celebrity boxing match against DMX has been canceled amidst heavy criticism, according to the event's promoter.

DMX's wish has been granted. No, he will not have his mile-long criminal record expunged, nor will he return to his late '90s, Ruff Ryders rap glory.

He will, however, get to fight George Zimmerman in Celebrity Boxing!

Celebrity boxing star in training George Zimmerman says he wants to fight Kanye West, because the volatile rapper has a history of attacking defenseless people.

That's not ironic at all coming from Zimmerman.

George Zimmerman plans to join the ranks of celebrity boxing and is already on the hunt to find a famous opponent, according to reports. Seriously.

Promoter Damon Feldman is behind the celebrity boxing match, set to take place on March 1, though it's unclear who he will be duking it out with.

When he's not busy getting arrested, George Zimmerman is honing his skills at painting, a hobby that's already proven lucrative for the former neighborhood watchman.

Zimmerman, who sold his first painting on eBay for $100,000 (seriously) is at it again, and his latest work zeroes in on a key figure in the Trayvon Martin case.

George Zimmerman will not face domestic violence charges despite his high-profile arrest last month, as his girlfriend does not wish to pursue the case.

She's already changed her story about what happened that day, and without that, there is scant evidence of a crime, a state prosecutor explained.

Samantha Scheibe wants criminal charges dropped against George Zimmerman despite the allegedly violent altercation with her boyfriend last month.

Scheibe has told a Florida court that the police “misinterpreted” her statements when she claimed he was brandishing a shotgun during a domestic incident.

Samantha Scheibe, George Zimmerman's girlfriend, says he has been depressed and lashing out in the past few months, and she fears for her life.

These alleged claims have been made public just days after Scheibe called 911 to report that Zimmerman was pointing a shotgun in her face.

In the aftermath of his arrest Monday afternoon, sources close to George Zimmerman say he was lied to and framed by girlfriend Samantha Scheibe.

Zimmerman insiders say she may have faked her alleged pregnancy to keep him around, then framed him when she realized he was leaving her.

George Zimmerman's estranged wife, Shellie Zimmerman, took advantage of the unusual circumstances that landed him in a jail cell earlier this week.

After he was taken into custody following a domestic dispute with (pregnant) girlfriend Samantha Scheibe, Zimmerman was locked up in a solitary cell overnight.

Following his arrest Monday, George Zimmerman has been ordered to surrender his weapons and keep his distance from girlfriend Samantha Scheibe.

George Zimmerman's girlfriend Samantha Scheibe lost it after he allegedly pointed a shotgun at her face and broke a bunch of her stuff on Monday.

Scheibe's dramatic 911 call - placed before Zimmerman was arrested for the domestic dispute - can be heard below. She was clearly pretty freaked: