Think you've been on a terrible first date?
Think these are examples of some terrible first dates?
HA! Think again.
An Internet user named Liam Smyth has shared the following first date story on social media and we promise you've never heard anything quite like it.
After scrolling through each detail below, you'll pray you never experience anything quite like it, either...
They Swiped Right!
Liam says he met his unnamed date on Tinder, which is a perfectly fair, reasonable and normal way to meet someone these days.
A Promising Start
And a promising middle part, too: "After our meal, we repaired back to my house for a bottle of wine and a scientology documentary," Liam writes on his GoFundMe page
. (Why did he create this GoFundMe page? Keep reading to find out!)
An Hour Into the Netflix and Chilling...
... Liam's date got up to use the bathroom, returned and confessed: she pooped in his toilet and clogged up the drain.
We'll let Liam explain what his date said/did next: "I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window."
It gets worse: This woman's fecal matter didn’t make it out the window all the way; instead, it fell inside the wide gap between the window’s two panes and got stuck there.
The Date Has an Idea!
She says she was once a gymnast and can slide between the windows and hurl the poop down to the street. And she actually succeeds! But then gets stuck herself between the panes, as you can see in this photo.
"I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck. Stuck fast. Try as we might, we could not remove her from the window. She was stuck fast, upside down in the gap."
What Else Could Liam Do?
But call the fire department! He dialed. They arrived in 15 minutes. And they extricated his date from this situation.
To the Rescue!
A rep for Avon Fire and Rescue service told the Bristol Post: "We received a call at 22:41 to one female trapped between interior and exterior glass. Two crews were sent from Temple station and she was rescued using hand tools."
The Cost of Heroism
To free his date, Liam says the firefighters had to break the window. It cost $357 to repair and so he started the aforementioned GoFundMe page to help with the expense.
A Happy Ending
Liam has received more than 10 times his GoFundMe goal. He is therefore donating all of the extra cash to toilet twinning, a charity building and maintaining flushing toilets in the developing world; and a charity of the fire fighters' choosing.
The Real Question
Will there be a date #2? Liam has not said.
Go Ahead, Internet...
... just try to top this bad date story!