By now, all fans and viewers of The Real Housewives of Orange County know all about Braunwyn WIndham-Burke’s threesomes with her husband.
Braunwyn made it very clear to producers that, given the chance, she’d be down to clown with castmate Tamra Judge.
Tamra herself expressed no objections to that.
At Shannon Storms Beador’s birthday party, the birthday girl wasn’t the only one who got a kiss.
Braunwyn and Tamra seized their chance and made out. It was a treat for everyone — well, almost everyone.
And … is Vicki Gunvalson homophobic? Look at her face below as all of this goes down.
It was Shannon’s birthday!
Shannon was born in March, by the way, so that tells you how long ago this was filmed. As you can see from this still, Shannon had already been having a grand old time in this pic.
Braunwyn had her eye on the prize
She and Tamra were, well, flirting all night. This is already after Braunwyn had been wildly unsubtle about how, if she could bring any of her fellow Housewives into her marital bed — as she and her husband sometimes do with women they know — it would be Tamra. She had clearly already thought about it. And Tamra was, well, flattered.
Vicki seemed a little taken aback
We’ll talk more about this in a bit, and maybe selective editing is partly to blame, but it looks like Vicki was genuinely uncomfortable with Tamra and Braunwyn’s flirtations.
Speaking of uncomfortable …
In addition to having her own drama, Gina found herself seated between two ladies. If you’ve ever been seated between two people who are being openly horny for each other, you know exactly how she’s feeling in this moment.
Thus, some folks swapped seats
Tamra and Braunwyn were finally side-by-side, Gina could talk to Emily (they did a lot of that), and Meghan King Edmonds got herself a front-row seat to the action. (We see you, Meghan)
Things were already a little spicy
Tamra — in her very loud voice — announced that her hand had been trapped in Braunwyn’s crotch. Braunwyn did not seem to mind. In fact, she shouted “do it again!”
Again with Vicki’s discomfort
Shannon blows her whistle, possibly because she’s had enough to drink. Ma’am this is a restaurant. (Seriously, I know that it’s a spectacle, but can you imagine if you wandered into your favorite restaurant for dinner having no idea that the Housewives were going to be there?)
Braunwyn is living her best life
She sits back on Tamra’s lap, presumably not with the other woman’s hand wedged between her legs this time (but who knows).
Here it comes!
Braunwyn is still giggling … and Tamra’s already puckering up.
What a moment
Just look at all of the people around them. Is Shannon … trying to supervise? Vicki is pointing, as if someone might miss this, though we suspect that she’s not trying to help, because she just keeps yelling “stop!” And that woman in the background is just eating dinner.
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
We’re not sure who Shannon may be looking at or what she may be talking about at this moment, but Tamra and Braunwyn are in their own little world.
Here’s a better angle
Good for them! No cowardly pecks here. They’re really going at it.
Oh, Braunwyn …
We get that she couldn’t resist. Hopefully, she asked Tamra first before lunging for her tatas.
Vicki puts on a show, AGAIN
This time she’s rapidly shaking her head. Honestly … Vicki has some explaining to do. There’s a difference between “I don’t want to make out with anyone, thanks” and “I’m going to perform a face journey showing how icky I find this.” The latter is homophobic.
See it for yourself
These two are having such a lovely time — and so is spectator Meghan. Not sure why it’s bothering Vicki so much, but that’s not a great look for her.
Tamra has no regrets
Speaking to the camera, she points out that there’s nothing wrong with the occassional threesome. That’s not what she did with Braunwyn at Shannon’s birthday, but it’s obviously relevant to the wider discussion about Braunwyn’s marriage.
And oh by the way …
Did … did Meghan King Edmonds feel a little left out? We can’t say for sure. At the very least she’s not homophobic. Which we didn’t think that she was (not sure if he’s out but a close acquaintance of hers is gay), of course. She’s clearly entertained.
Vicki is STILL not amused
Even when Braunwyn and Tamra are just dancing with each other, Vicki’s voiceover continues to gripe. She says that Braunwyn dances like a 12-year-old, whatever that means? We guess that any dance looks “young” at a certain age.
Now Vicki explains herself
She says that she knows that girl’s kiss, but points out that Braunwyn and Tamra are not lesbians. That’s true! And while bisexuals outnumber all of the rest of us put together, Braunwyn has stated that she identifies as straight. But Vicki … people make out at parties all of the time without any sexual attraction behind it. Especially if alcohol is involved. And especially if at least one of them, however she may label herself, may very much feel some sexual attraction towards the other.
Vicki is mystified by the continued makeout
She wonders how they could be doing this and enjoying it. Kissing is fun, Vicki.
Then Vicki asks the big question
Are they cheating by doing this? We somehow think that neither of their husbands will object. Especially since this was all on camera.
Tamra has opened up about this
Speaking to Bravo’s Daily Dish, Tamra says: “We had a good vibe. Would you rather have kissing or fighting? Just trying to make everybody happy.”
Who was the better kisser?
“I don’t remember [if she’s a good kisser],” Tamra confesses. “But she said I was a good kisser, that’s all I care about.” You know what? That’s relatable.
Tamra sings Braunwyn’s praises
“Love Braunwyn! She just slid into our group like she had been one of the group for years. Super nice, down-to-Earth, very open, cute as can be, has a great husband, seven children, a mother that has rainbow dreadlocks… I mean, what can you ask for?” She makes a decent point.
Which Housewife would she kiss next?
Now, Eddie immediately mentioned someone from The Real Housewives of Dallas, but he didn’t name any names. Then Shannon says: “I like me some Denise Richards. We got a thumbs up from Eddie. I can make out with Denise Richards anytime. Eddie approved it.” We also approve that.
So what does this all mean?
It means that making out is fun, that Tamra and Braunwyn definitely brought a lot to this season’s storyline. Both of them remain 100% in control of however they would like their sexuality to be labeled. And besides, kissing is just kissing.
There are points to be raised
For example, while much of our culture remains homophobic, our society may encourage women to make out. This doesn’t mean that wlw (women who love women) are more accepted, merely more sexualized. Rest assured that, unfortunately, many in our society who may have laughed at this scene would have felt very differently if these Housewives were all men. Maybe Vicki would have minded less.
Anyway, bring on that crossover event
Beverly Hills meets Orange County would be a wild ride — maybe especially for Tamra and Denise. And we’d like to see Meghan on some more, and not so that she can finally get a kiss that she may have been hoping for.