Michelle Duggar's Cringey Marriage Advice: Be Ready For Sex at All Times!
by Tyler Johnson at . Updated at .Say what you will about Michelle Duggar, the woman certainly knows a thing or two about marriage and child-rearing.
Of course, the kind of marriage that Michelle has is not the kind of marriage that would work for most people -- a fact that's highlighted every time the reality star offers advice on how to build a ludicrously old-fashioned, one-sided relationship like hers.
So strap in for another round of tips and tricks from Jim Bob's beloved bride.
You may find something useful in all of this -- but more likely, you'll cringe yourself into oblivion and wonder how anyone lives this way.
Enjoy!
1. Fundie Fundamentals
Jim Bob and Michelle both happily offer relationship advice through their blogs and speaking engagements.
2. Leading By Example
And both look at their family's reality show, Counting On, as a means of "advancing their ministry" by sharing their views and their way of life with a larger audience.
3. Broadcasting Happiness
In all their years on the air, we've never seen the Duggars get into a fight. But we have seen them drink a bizarre number of milkshakes together.
4. Good Vibes
This is no accident, of course. Giving the impression that they're blissfully happy at all times is a crucial part of the Duggars' public image.
5. The Lady of the House
And as the mother who birthed the massive brood that made the Duggars famous, it's particularly important for Michelle to give the impression that every household chore is a gift from God.
6. The Gospel According to Michelle
Michelle laid out all her views on marriage in a blog post that's since become the stuff of legend to Duggar fans.
7. A Gala Event
Many of the tips came from Michelle's friend Gala, whom it's believed she had never mentioned previously.
8. Source of Wisdom
"[My friend] Gala had only been married for three years, but she had very wise advice," Michelle said by way of introduction.
9. The Suspense Builds
"She told me: ‘Michelle, I know you’re so excited. You’re a bride-to-be, but someday you’ll be at this point. I’ve been married three years and I’m still happily married. I have one child, we’re expecting our second and I’m big pregnant. You’ve got to remember this," Michelle wrote.
10. The Big Tip
"Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him. He can get his lunch somewhere else. But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy," she continued.
11. Sex on Demand
"You’re it… So when you are exhausted at the end of the day, maybe from dealing with little ones, and you fall into bed so exhausted at night, don’t forget about him because you and he are the only ones who can have that time together. No one else in the world can meet that need," Michelle went on.
12. Makin' Babies
We guess that advice isn't all that surprising, given how many kids Michelle and Jim Bob have had together. And while it's the "intimacy" portion that's attracted the most attention, Michelle's advice didn't end there.
13. Fight In Private
"Don’t ever talk about things in front of your children that are supposed to be between you and your husband only. Step aside and say, ‘We’re going to talk about this privately.’ And don’t ever put your husband down in front of your children or other people, especially your families," Michelle wrote.
14. Practice Discretion
"Talk privately," she continued. "We always say in our family, we praise publicly, but we correct privately. And that’s marriage advice that I would give to anyone."
15. Throwing a Curveball
Up to this point, there's nothing surprising about Michelle's advice. But she ended her essay on an unexpected note.
16. Get a Ref
The mother of 19 said married couples should not be afraid to seek input from helpful third parties, such as counselors and therapists.
17. Tough Times
"There are going to be those times in your marriage where you might not always agree; you might not see things eye to eye and sometimes you may need a trusted third party to be a counsel for you in your marriage," she wrote.
18. Wise Counsel
"Feel free to go to that trusted wise counsel that you both respect and get counsel when you need it," Michelle added.
19. Seeking It Together
"We have all been there. Yes, we have a oneness with spirit in Christ, but there are times that we need others to give us life counsel. So be willing to go seek it together," Michelle concluded.
20. Michelle's Thoughts
So there you have it. Never say no to sex; argue behind closed doors; and go to a counselor, and you too, could have a life of floor-length skirts and a baseball team's worth of offspring!
