If you're having trouble finding the perfect romantic partner in these tumultuously turbulent times here on Earth, take heart:
Things could be much, much worse to be honest with you.
After all, you could be married to Jenelle Evans.
Or to David Eason for that matter.
Yes, the gruesome twosome might not be anyone's idea of a perfect match, but to their credit, they've managed to remain married.
For two years. Without killing each other.
Some fans are surprised that the Easons lasted this long. Others have noticed what appear to be signs of trouble in paradise.
And then there were those who reserved their shock for the latest unexpected change in the Carolina Hurricane's appearance.
Take a look ... and weigh in:
Still Chugging Along
Believe it or not, it's been two years since Jenelle and David said "I do" in an outdoor ceremony at their swampy home in North Carolina. Suffice it to say, whatever you think of them and all the events on The Land of the past 24 months, few expected them to make it this far.
Jeez, Dial Down the Enthusiasm!
"#HappyAnniversary 2 years married - 4 years together," a clearly ecstatic Jenelle captioned a picture commemorating the occasion. You can practically feel the emotion and outpouring of undying love radiating from your phone.
She Could Have at Least Used an Exclamation Point
Okay, so Jenelle doesn't exactly seem overjoyed in her latest Instagram post, but hey, who are we to read into social media comments from people who clearly never use the platform to get attention at all?! But seriously folks, the Easons have a lot to be excited about these days. No, really.
She's Coming For You, Kylie!
Earlier this month, for example, Jenelle Evans finally released her cosmetics line after nearly three years (?!) of planning and preparation. Yes, you can really buy Jenelle Evans branded cosmetics on the Internet.
Unfortunately for Ms. Eason, JE Cosmetics has moved just 150 units in his first two weeks of operations. One hundred and fifty, total. Kylie Jenner and her billionaire status appear to be safe for the time being.
You don't need a degree in business to know that it won't be easy for Jenelle to keep the lights on with numbers like that, but at least she has Teen Mom 2 and her MTV paycheck to keep her afloat. Oh, wait.
No Plan B
Since Jenelle and David have both been fired by MTV for their abhorrent behavior, they really don't have much to fall back on. At least they can grow their own food and live off the grid on The Land?
David to the Rescue!
Fortunately, David has launched a business venture of his own. Unfortunately, he's David Eason, and his sales figures make JE Cosmetics look like freakin' Amazon.
Um ... Cool
We suppose that's no surprise when you consider the fact that David, the self-styled survivalist and badass he pretends to be online, is out there demanding top dollar for summer camp-level arts and crafts.
Of course, financial hardships are among the top reasons that couples call it quits, so perhaps it should come as no surprise that there are signs that Jenelle and David appear to have called it quits ... again.
Separated ... Again
As you probably know, the Easons have broken up in some way, shape or form before. Many, many times before. And the closest thing we get to an official announcement is a change in relationship status - such as the one that just took place on Jenelle's Facebook page.
Not content with simply swapping her relationship status and hoping we notice (guilty!) and letting that speak for itself, Evans really wants people to pay attention to her and get the point she's trying to make. To that end, Jenelle is taking things a step further with her strategic use of passive-aggressive memes.
The Nugget Incident
Of course, Jenelle and David have split at least three times in the past year, the most recent falling out occurring in the aftermath of a murder on the Land. Yes, as you surely recall: David beat, shot, and killed Evans' 11-pound French bulldog after determining that the puppy was a threat to his family's safety.
Prior to that, Jenelle and David briefly parted ways following an altercation in which he allegedly broke her collarbone. Seriously, that happened. He beats her, she calls the cops, then changes her story and comes back to his side. It's upsetting.
It Never Ends
There was also an incident in which he fled the Land after becoming upset by an MTV special that addressed Jenelle's relationship with her exes.
Everything we've seen about David and Jenelle's marriage seems to indicate that it's a constant source of turmoil, and that these two people should in no way be together, let alone raising kids.
Signs of Stress
So perhaps it should come as no surprise that the whole thing seems to be taking a major toll on Evans health, which has never been exactly top-tier if we're being honest.
David recently posted this photo, and many fans believe it's his way of subtly mocking his wife. Maybe we're reading into things, but the man beats her. Pushing her buttons on social media isn't exactly a reach. Just saying.
The Whole Tooth and Nothing But
As you can see, it appears that the former Teen Mom 2 terror is missing several of her front teeth. Maybe there's a reasonable explanation for it, or perhaps it's just an optical illusion, but man, this situation is decaying very fast.
An Ongoing Issue?
Strangely enough, this is not the first time Teen Mom Nation has been talking about this exact thing. In the past, fans have noticed that Evans seems to be lacking a full set of teeth, but it's unknown if this is a current development or something she's managed to successfully conceal for years.
We can't tell you, and we can only speculate. Let's make that clear. That said, given his long history of abusive behavior and the rampant drug use he and Jenelle have engaged in together, it's not hard to see why so many are blaming Jenelle's dental crisis on David. Stay tuned.
For months now, Jenelle and David have been working tirelessly to restore their public image -- but thus far, their efforts have been far from successful.
Motivated By Laziness
It seems the Easons are terrified by the prospect of being forced to get real jobs. And so, they're doing their best to try and win over the many Teen Mom 2 fans who have have been horrified by their recent behavior.
David and Jenelle hope that if they maintain a certain level of popularity on social media, they'll be able to continue eking out a living by posting sponsored content and hawking overpriced crap.
So Far, So Bad
Thus far, the strategy has blown up in their faces and done further damage to their standing among Teen Mom fans. The question now is -- what's next for these two?
Going Their Separate Ways?
Will these two finally do what's right for themselves and their children and call it quits for good? Sadly, that seems unlikely.
Will they finally find success with one of their misguided business ventures? We probably don't need to tell you that that seems even more unlikely.
No, the most probable outcome here is that Jenelle and David will continue to engage in the same self-destructive behaviors as their post-MTV lives slowly deteriorate in the years to come.
Abreast of the Mess
And of course, we'll continue to keep you updated on the Easons increasingly sad situation as more information becomes available.
UPDATE: Jenelle Speaks!
The rumors of dental trauma are persistent enough that Evans felt the need to address them on her Instagram Story.
She's Not Happy
"Let's put this rumor to rest everyone," she said when a fan asked about the theory. "I have got a retainer that's like fake teeth, and that's what I had to straighten out my jaw."
"I have my teeth — these are all my teeth," Jenelle said, pointing to her mouth
"And why did I need to straighten out my jaw?" she asked. "Because I have an overbite really bad, and it almost touches the bottom of my teeth."
Of course, as many have pointed out on Twitter, at no point in the video does Jenelle show her teeth without the "retainer" in her mouth.
But regardless of whether or not she's telling the truth, the saddest part of this story might be that Jenelle felt the need to make the video at all. "Isn't it sad that you have to prove you have teeth because nobody would be surprised if you lost them because of drugs or because your husband knocked them out?" wrote one Twitter user.