These days, most of the stories we hear about Jenelle Evans and David Eason are downright sad.
But the latest is pretty damn funny
Whether it’s Jenelle denying that David assaulted her , or David using made up facts to defend his bizarre obsession with the Confederacy, every recent event involving the Easons has two things in common:
They’re all depressing as hell, and it’s always obvious that Jenelle and David are trying to con their critics into accepting a version of events that’s rooted firmly in bullsh-t.
So perhaps we should’ve expected that Jenelle would eventually (allegedly) launch a Trumpian fake news site with the sole purpose of convincing the world that her husband is the greatest.
We wish we were joking.
Take a look:
Unreal We often find ourselves thinking that Jenelle and David’s relationship couldn’t possibly get more absurd. Of course, every time, we’re proven wrong.
The Latest Earlier today, Jenelle critics on Twitter began linking to a website that they claimed was created by Jenelle for the sole purpose of repairing her reputation and defending her controversial husband.
The Height of Absurdity We found it hard to believe that even Jenelle could sink so low. But naturally, we checked it out — and there’s something very off about micdrop[dot]net.
Dropping the Mic Mic Drop launched today, and so far, the site has only published one article — a gushing ode to the greatness of David Eason.
The REAL Victim “EXCLUSIVE: David Eason Suffers Abuse From Past Relationship (PICS)” is a 1,000-word screed about how great David is, and how awful his baby mama Olivia Leedham is.
Makes Sense Because of course, a new entertainment news site would launch with no fanfare by posting one article in which the unnamed author vehemently defends an accused wife beater and neo-Nazi.
How’s the Writing? (Getty) We’re glad you asked. Let’s just say — it sounds a lot like it was written by Jenelle Evans.
Off to an … Interesting Start “If you’re a female, Domestic Violence is NOT okay,” reads the totally normal first sentence published by Mic Drop. “It goes both ways.”
Go, Jenelle, Go “A lot of things happen on camera that we see on reality television and every week we have to engulf ourselves in the latest drama,” the word salad continues. “Many things happen off camera that doesn’t get seen by viewers, or some things happened before we met them on our tv screens.”
Between Relationships “When it comes to domestic violence between relationships, we’ve seen a fair share on Teen Mom 2 and Teen Mom OG,” adds the person who may or may not be Jenelle.
Buckle Up (MTV) “One character that doesn’t get mentioned often about his past is David Eason,” the article continues. “David has a past of his own and fans often believe it’s all bad.”
Honest Jefferson Davis “Personal friends and family have spoken out recently about this claiming he had the nickname of ‘Honest Abe’ in high school and was always a helping hand.” Ironic nickname for a dude who loves the Confederacy!
Davy Crockett “David spent his childhood growing up teaching his friends about the country and the in/outs of hunting,” the article continues.
And So Forth You get the gist. The article kisses David’s ass for a while and then gets it into the many struggles that shaped him into the bigot he is today.
So Funny, So Sad The post applauds David for “being a young teen father, cheated on in the past, and experiencing domestic violence” before offering up “the scoop and dirty details” about a previous relationship that fans have supposedly been “super curious about.”
Before We Go Any Further We should note that from this point on, the article is basically an attack against Olivia Leedham, the mother of David’s son, Kaden.
Why Now? (MTV) Well, timing is everything. Jenelle and David were recently criticized for missing Kaden’s birthday because of their bizarre, impromptu cross-country odyssey.
Counter-Attack So what better time for Jenelle — or whoever wrote this article — to throw a ton of shade at Olivia and accuse her of domestic violence?
That’s Not Good Shade The article claims that Olivia is a recovering alcoholic who has been attending AA for several years — as though that’s a bad thing.
That’s One Way to Wake Someone Up “One night a friend of David’s saw Olivia was passed out on the couch from drinking too much liquor,” the author writes of an incident that allegedly occurred while Olivia was still in her teens. “David’s friend shot his gun off in the air and Olivia still would not wake up!”
WTF Are We Looking At? The article offers this photo of an anonymous red nipple as evidence that David was brutally beaten by Olivia.
No Comment Folks on Twitter immediately started to cry foul and point out the many ways in which the site is suspect.
Screams Jenelle Yes, this stunt seems to have the fingerprints of Ms. Evans all over it.
Busted We bet Jenelle didn’t think anyone could figure this out.
Crying Face Emoji, Indeed You would think that the author would post more than one article to make the whole seem more legit … but you would be wrong.
A Rough Life “Should we give David Eason another chance?” the article concludes. “Has he had rough life? Leave your comments below!” Oh, we bet if you enable comments you’ll get a LOT of feedback, mysterious David defender.