It's been six months since Farrah Abraham was fired from Teen Mom OG, but the mother of one is still generating enough drama to support a dozen reality shows.
TMZ is reporting today that Farrah was arrested at the Beverly Hills Hotel for attacking an employee.
According to a police report, Farrah was taken into custody on battery and trespassing charges late Tuesday night and is now being held on $500 bail.
Obviously, the situation has raised a lot of questions:
What might have set Farrah off?
How hammered was she?
Why won't anyone pay her measly-ass bail?
We set out to solve these mysteries and more while Farrah attempts to explain to her cellmate how famous she is:
You Can't Take Her Anywhere
On Tuesday night, Farrah was at the ultra-swanky Beverly Hills Hotel when she got into an argument with a male staffer, whom she allegedly struck.
Currently, no one knows what set Farrah off exactly, but according to sources -- and you may want to sit down for this -- alcohol was definitely a factor in the incident.
Playing the Celeb Card
Police were called, and onlookers say Farrah shouted at the arresting officers and repeated the phrase, "You should know who I am!"
"Don't You Know Who I Am?"
Good rule of thumb with that question: If you have to ask, the answer is no.
Before her arrest, Farrah posted this photo of herself and famed business tycoon Mark Cuban. "Entrepreneur’s workin even at the pool," she captioned the pic.
What Went Wrong?
So Farrah was all smiles as she hobnobbed with the rich and famous just hours before her meltdown. What happened in the meantime that caused her to lose her cool? Well, we have a few theories ...
Farrah Being Farrah
Anyone who watched her slow transformation from midwestern cheerleader to perpetually outraged porn star knows that Farrah has a quite a temper. She usually directs it at her mother or at Teen Mom OG producers, but last night, maybe she decided to spread the anger around a bit.
Lost in the Sauce
Of course, it's possible that Farrah was just flat-out hammered. After all, this wouldn't be the first time she was arrested for a booze-related incident.
In 2013, Farrah was arrested on DUI charges. She pled guilty and was sentenced to six months probation.
Timing Is Everything
Sources say Farrah was taken into custody at around 1 am. We haven't done any research, but we're guessing that in 99.99999 percent of cases where someone assaults hotel staff after midnight, copious quantities of alcohol are involved.
It Gets Worse ...
Sources say Farrah's 9-year-old daughter Sophia was also staying in the hotel at the time of the incident. It's not known if Sophia witnessed the melee.
So Farrah (allegedly) got hammered, punched a hotel clerk, and got arrested, all while her daughter was sleeping under the same roof. Will she actually face consequences this time?
The Deb Factor
Believe it or not, she might. Farrah's mom, Debra Danielsen, is reportedly furious, and she may be taking steps toward fighting Farrah for custody of Sophia.
But "Volatilty" Is Farrah's Middle Name!
“She needs to be with her family, not about strangers and volatility and her mother being arrested,” a tearful Danielsen told Radar Online when asked about Sophia.
Aren't Parties Supposed To Be Fun?
“It’s very disgusting. She needs to go to school… She needs to not be dragged on a party all over the world," Deb continued.
Farrah Abraham, Teacher Extraordinaire
Yes, technically, Sophia is homeschooled. Farrah is the one in charge of her education, so we're guessing she's learning a whole lot -- but not the kind of stuff they teach in fourth grade.
The Real Victim
“My granddaughter is sitting there with a stranger," Danielsen concluded. "She needs me to hold her and tell her everything is alright.”
A Legal Precedent
As for what sort of criminal penalty Farrah is facing, we're guessing she's looking at a fate similar to that of Kim Richards, another reality star who was arrested following a drunken assault at the Beverly Hills Hotel ...
Tough Times Ahead
Richards was able to avoid jail time, but she paid thousands in fines and did hundreds of hours of community service. So look for Farrah picking up trash on the side of an interstate near you this summer!
Farrah has now issued a statement through her spokesperson. The disgraced star says she will "return" (whatever that means) and assures fans that her daughter remains her "#1 priority."
“Please remember, there are two sides to every story,” says the rep.
The Cops' Side
Meanwhile, the Beverly Hills Police Department has issued a statement confirming that Farrah was drunk at the time of her arrest.
Stating the Obvious
“Officers noted that Abraham exhibited signs of intoxication during the investigation,” Lieutenant Elisabeth Albanese tells Radar Online.
It Keeps Getting Worse
Now, new video obtained by TMZ shows Farrah getting belligerent with police while insisting that she's not resisting arrest.
A Sad Situation
Police also confirmed that Sophia was at the hotel and was seen hanging out poolside with her mother just hours before the incident.
Paying the Price
Farrah was released from jail Wednesday afternoon. And she didn't waste any time before sounding off on her situation.
Was Anyone Concerned?
“Hey guys! I wanted to say thank you for all of the well wishes and concern,” she said during an Instagram Live session last night.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
"It’s sort of sad sometimes when you’re out and you just can’t have fun and people want to attack you and get you all in that trouble," she added.
No More Hotels
Farrah concluded with a comment that left fans with the impression she'll be sticking wth Air BnB from now on. "So, I’m blessed by God, and I don’t ever want to be attacked again at a hotel,” she said.
But if you thought she was done speaking her mind, you don't know Farrah! She also submitted this self-shot video to TMZ.
"I was targeted, things were made up, it was fine," Farrah says of her arrest.
"I don't know who called the cops, why people called the cops ... I was focused on my friends and then someone was trying to be involved, another guest," she continued, adding that she suspects the guest who called the cops was "intoxicated." Sigh. Never change, Farrah. Just kidding, change immediately for the sake of your daughter.