On Season 5, Episode 5 of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, multiple couples were processing eventful evenings.
First up came Caleb and Alina, who had shared their first kiss the night before.
It was decidedly not their last.
On the opposite end of the spectrum were Ella and Johnny, who have yet to meet in person.
Johnny said goodbye to his family, but crushing news could derail his and Ella’s chances of a happily ever after.
Gino confessed to some financial struggles but made a good impression on Jasmine’s friend.
The same cannot be said for his impression on Jasmine, as the next day was a total disaster.
After their “sleepover” was discovered by Hamza’s mom, Memphis is desperate to win her over.
But she also needs to talk to Hamza about his “sexy time” performance.
Mike and Ximena also had their very first sleepover, with very different reviews of the experience.
However, Ximena has been harboring a secret that she knows could end things with Mike for good.
Caleb Greenwood and Alina Kasha
Their first kiss was not their last, clearly, as they are still exchanging smooches the next morning. However, it quickly becomes clear that things did not really go further than that.
Why did they stop where they stopped?
Alina and Caleb have an awkward and very honest conversation about how Caleb is self-conscious of her body’s differences. He’s a guy who tends to overthink things, and it gets in the way of the intimacy despite his bond with and attraction to Alina.
Alina is very understanding
Clearly appreciating his honesty even more than she appreciates his strong arms, the two go back to kissing.
They have a busy day ahead of them
But we can see that Caleb is clearly getting the hang of helping Alina ascend stairways. Again, they are in Turkey rather than in the United States, so (obviously) buildings do not have to be ADA compliant and Alina is not finding as many elevators as she might in the United States.
Alina wants to spend more time with Caleb
She knows that he got his incredible body from being really into fitness, both outdoors and indoors, so she works out a little with him. It’s hard for her at times, but it means a lot to both of them that they can spend time together and enjoy things.
Alina and Caleb go to see her friend, Maria
Maria, the one who drove Alina and Elijah to the hotel from the airport, is just as much on the lookout for Alina’s well-being as Elijah is.
Her big worry is that this will end as a fling
Alina has previously been in a steamy romance with a man from out of town, only for him to act like he didn’t know her once he went back to “real” life. Maria does not want to see her friend go through that again, and wonders how Caleb and Alina see their future. Caleb feels that it’s a private conversation for him and Alina to have. He is also a little self-conscious when Alina and Maria speak Russian in front of him.
Alina does apologize for speaking Russian in front of him
It’s never nice to deliberately exclude someone from a conversation, but Maria was clearly more comfortable explaining her perspective in her native tongue. Back at the hotel, Alina and Caleb are still in a very good place.
Make that a VERY good place
They are making out for minutes on screen, and despite the inherent awkwardness of the production crew being there for this, it feels like they forgot that they were on camera a time or two. Eventually, Caleb reaches over and turns down the lights, signaling the end to the extended steamy film. It sounds like tonight’s going to go a lot further than the night before.
Ella Johnson and Johnny
Johnny is in Jinan, China, which is not where he is most of the time due to his job. Right now, he is spending precious time with his son, Stony, who lives with his parents. He explains to the camera that it is not unusual for grandparents to spend a lot of time raising children while the parent works.
Johnny is dreading leaving Stony
His son told him that Ella is his “friend too,” but Johnny knows that the pandemic and various international restrictions could make it difficult for him to return to see his son.
Johnny’s parents have other worries
He already had one marriage that ended in divorce, so they are unsure if this one will be successful — and most of all, would like for him to pursue a romance with someone in China. However, Johnny explains that his parents and ex-wife did not get along at all, which doomed that marriage.
This time will be better
Johnny jokes that Ella’s language barrier with his parents will prevent quarrels from happening. With him as translator, he can smooth over everything. He’s half-joking.
Besides, dating as a single dad in China is tough
There are so many men to choose from and only a few eligible women, as part of the legacy of China’s One Child Policy and a cultural emphasis on having sons rather than daughters.
The pandemic is still a real issue
They know that it’s not being managed very well in the United States. Even if Johnny’s health is fine, the impact on travel and visas could make things much harder than they need to be.
Meanwhile …
Ella is driving and reflecting upon how people’s responses to her weight have impacted her for her entire life. This is especially true of her attempts to date. She shares how she both verbally and visually told a man about her figure, only for him to react to meeting her by exclaiming that he hadn’t realized how big she was. Awful. Her inescapable fear is that Johnny will react the same way.
So she is going to work out
Long-term weight loss through diet and exercise is not really viable (it sucks but that’s what study after study have shown; even if a caloric deficit leads to weight loss, it eventually comes back), but exercise is very good for you in many ways and so we would recommend it to almost anyone (provided that it’s healthy for them).
Then, bad news
Ella receives a text message informing her that Johnny’s travel visa to Singapore (where he plans to quarantine for a couple of weeks before heading to the United States) has been denied. She doesn’t know where to go from here.
Gino Palazzolo and Jasmine Pineda
One of this season’s most talked-about couples is off to another awkward start to a day as Gino sets up Jasmine’s new, electric toothbrush so that she can use it. It’s nice and certainly a useful gift, but to give it as his primary gift to her upon arrival was strange. The toothbrush is going to be a lot stranger by the end of the episode.
Still, things seem happy so far
Jasmine says that she is very happy with Gino’s sexual performance, and he is clearly feeling like he won the lottery with her. Oh, except for when she explodes with anger and insecurity.
Today, Gino will meet one of Jasmine’s friends
Leo has a salon where she gets her hair done, and she wants Gino to make a good impression on him.
Which means a wardrobe change
Jasmine doesn’t like that Gino wears sandals and athletic shorts. Could he pick something more flattering? Sure, but that’s his business. We know that some people will happily change their wardrobe for a partner, but … is it really worth overhauling your look to meet someone else’s approval? Only Gino can decide that.
Jasmine heaps praise on Gino
She also gropes his butt encouragingly. Which … if done consensually, is absolutely a great way to encourage someone to make a wardrobe change.
There’s just one problem
Gino has been out of work (pandemic layoffs) for about seven months now. He doesn’t have the budget to drop $500 on clothing right now, which he explains to Jasmine. To her credit, despite being surprised, she covers for him with the woman at the register, telling her that they’ll return with Gino’s wallet.
Time to meet Leo!
Leo’s name is Leandro, by the way, giving many of us 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 3 flashbacks. Leo is almost needlessly handsome and clearly has a solid friendship with Jasmine. While Gino is understandably not insecure about their friendship, one imagines that the viewers who wonder why Alina and Elijah aren’t dating will have similar thoughts about Jasmine and Leo.
Gino wants to have kids
Speaking quickly in Spanish with Leo, Jasmine tells him that Gino doesn’t know that she’s on the pill yet, and explains to the camera that they need to be in a good place before she’ll take that step. She already has kids, and she knows that just loving each other isn’t justification for bringing children into the world.
Gino has spotted some of the red flags
Perhaps with some prodding from production, perhaps alone, Gino asks Leo — through Jasmine — if he has witnessed any of Jasmine’s explosive anger episodes for himself.
Oh boy has he
After Leo says that he has, Jasmine elaborates, laughingly recalling physically assaulting a stylist who burned her hair. Jasmine … that’s not funny or cute or quirky.
The next morning
Jasmine and Gino are actually spending Christmas together, and Gino is making breakfast. Of course, he doesn’t cook much, but says that he can make anything with eggs.
Eggs?
Jasmine tries to remind him, multiple times and as gently as possible, that she is vegan. It doesn’t click until Gino serves them both food and she has to once again explain. After Gino, a grown man, is reminded where eggs come from, he realizes his mistake.
Time to exchange gifts!
Jasmine actually gave Gino four gifts, but only two were on screen — a cute throw pillow, and a shirt that matches Jasmine’s.
Gino … didn’t bring any
Apparently the pregnancy test and electric toothbrush were meant to be her Christmas presents, but he already gave those to her. GINO NO. Jasmine says that maybe next year he can make this up to her and walks away, angry and disappointed. That is not unreasonable.
Memphis Smith and Moknii Hamza
Memphis and Hamza are awkwardly and quietly making the bed after being busted by Hamza’s mom. She had asked Hamza to sleep in the living room while Memphis slept in his bedroom, but Hamza had slipped into her room that night for some “sexy time.”
It’s so awkward for his mom
Hayet is disappointed that Hamza ignored her request that he not bone Memphis. Even Memphis hoped to get a hotel once she learned that Hamza had lied to her about his mom being cool with them sharing a room.
Hamza assumes that his mother is none the wiser
Memphis, who we would point out is a mother of two, is almost entertained by Hamza’s assumption of what he can get away with doing without his mother knowing it.
There’s another thing on Memphis’ mind
The “sexy time” was sexy, but not very time — by which we mean that Hamza did not last very long at all. Memphis has, in the past, made the mistake of being in a relationship with a man without sexual compatibility, but she does not want to repeat this mistake. Hamza is hot, but she knows that hotness alone won’t make a relationship last.
Hamza has his own review of their night together
Thank you for your review, Hamza.
Time for an uncomfortable talk!
Hayet asks her son why he didn’t sleep in the living room as she had asked. Hamza has a very “come on mom, for real?” response, reminding us all that people in other countries and cultures are, you know, just people.
Hamza wants to fix this
He knows that his mom loves him, but he wants his mom to like Memphis, and he knows that Memphis doesn’t want his mother unhappy with him, either.
They go out on a walk
When Memphis makes a quick comment about gaining weight, Hamza is quick to reassure her. While “normal” is a subjective label, it’s sweet that he’s using his limited English to be affirming. We have all heard 90 Day Fiance stars who body-shamed their partners.
So, about the premature nutting …
Hamza is initially unclear of what Memphis means when she brings up how quickly he finished the night before. He tells her that he hasn’t had sex in eight months, reasoning that this is why things were over so quickly.
On camera, Hamza gives a different reason
According to him, Memphis was so overwhelmingly sexy that he just couldn’t last. That could be more of a problem than a dry spell. Dry spells go away. Memphis will stay hot.
Memphis is eager to get on his mom’s good side
Hayet teaches her to scale a fish, which is understandably not a skill that she has. Communicating that this is not what fish looks like when most Americans buy it could be difficult, but learning to scale isn’t too hard.
Hayet has … concerns
However, ultimately, she’s not too displeased with Memphis’ cooking and even notes to Hamza how she showed Memphis how to do things. (Real talk — Memphis has two children, so Hamza will be just fine, but there might be a learning curve when it comes to home cooked Tunisian dishes) (Realer talk — Hamza is a grown man and can cook his own food)
Hayet has questions for Memphis
She wants to know, through Hamza asking and translating, why Memphis got divorced from her “two” ex-husbands.
First of all, it was one ex-husband
One was never her husband, she clarifies. The other, Memphis explains, was better as her friend than as her romantic partner.
Hayet explains why she’s so protective
She had to raise her kids herself after her husband divorced her, which meant a great deal of stigma and limited opportunities. She does not want the same to happen to Hamza. As she explains this, she begins to cry, and Memphis offers her what comfort she can.
Mike Berk and Ximena Cuellar
After her first night with Mike, Ximena is awakened by her son (and the camera crew, leading us to wonder if this was a reenactment of waking up — which is the nature of reality TV).
It was clearly the best night of Mike’s life
Ximena admits that it was nothing special for her, but acknowledges how big of a deal this was for Mike.
They go on a trip as a family
It’s kind of weird for an entire family to take a guy to a water park, but it’s a way to get to know Mike and it’s more entertaining on camera than just crowding around each other in a hot living room is.
Mike and Ximena are enjoying each other’s company
They have a major and seemingly insurmountable language barrier, but they clearly are fond of one another.
Oh …
The camera pans over to Jamir, Ximena’s dad, as he uncomfortably watches his daughter make out with Mike.
But Ximena has been hiding something from Mike
Mike wants to have at least one more child with her, but she cannot do this.
She knows that she should have told him already
She braces herself and sits him down for a difficult conversation.
She knows that he would make a great dad
She has seen him play with her sons, so she wants to emphasize — through the translator device — that this is not about him.
Ximena cannot have children
She had two agonizing C-sections for her sons and was terrified of enduring that again, so she had a procedure to ensure that she won’t get pregnant again.
Why didn’t she tell him sooner?
Ximena is (now) very honest in answering that, admitting that she wanted to meet him and spend time with him in person before confessing this because she was afraid that it could drive him away.
Will that make a difference?
Taking his own turn at being incredibly honest, Mike admits that he will need time to think about their future together if she can’t have another child.