A Strong Opening:
"Justin Timberlake is not coming," Samberg said right off the bat, likely letting millions of people down but also acknowleding the popularity of his good friend and frequent collaborator.
A Dirty Impression:
Just Google "Girls" and "Allison Williams" and "ass eating" if you don't get this joke. Maybe don't do so in front of your boss.
On Shows That Went Off the Air This Year:
"And we also said goodbye to True Detective even though it’s still on the air." ZING! (Also: true!)
On the Futuristic Set:
"Not totally sure whether to host the show or get the Sports Almanac back from Biff." That's a Back to the Future joke, kids.
Oh, He Went There!
"I have to say, I'm so honored to join the proud ranks of past Emmy hosts. Incredible, legendary people like Robert Blake and Bill Cosby . . . oh no, I gotta get outta here." We have nothing to add to this.
What a Hamm
We'll see Jon Hamm again, Samberg assured us, prefacing this joke with a reference to Better Call Saul: "I'm sure Jon will be nominated for the upcoming prequel, Dick Whitman, Horny Hobo."
Samberg joked about wishing George R.R. Martin well... and about ruining Game of Thrones Season 6: "Happy birthday, George, and thanks for telling me during the commercial that Jon Snow is alive."
The End of Racism!
Hooray! "This is the most diverse group of nominees in Emmys history so congratulations Hollywood, you did it! Racism is over. Don't fact check that."
Kim Davis Burn!
"Paula Deen is on this season of Dancing With the Stars. But I gotta say, if I wanted to see an intolerant lady dance, I would have gone to one of Kim Davis's four weddings." Nothing needs to be added here.
This is Punny
After Olive Kitteridge swept like every mini series/film award, Samberg got his pun on with: "I admit I haven’t seen Olive Kitteridge. I’ve just seen half of Kitteridge."
Kyle Chandler was Robbed!
After Jon Hamm won, and after everyone was so happy that Jon Hamm won, Samberg referred to other Leading Actor in a Drama nominee Kyle Chandler and simply quipped: "I was pulling for Chandler."