Dean McDermott is finally taking responsibility.
Five months after the the actor seemingly confirmed in a since-deleted Instagram post that he and Tori Spelling had ended their marriage of 17 years of marriage, McDermott has delved into some of the reasons why.
He has acknowledged his flaws, his mistakes and the personal demons that played a major role in this much-anticipated break-up.
“All Tori’s ever done to this day is want me to be happy and healthy and I inflicted a lot of damage and pain on that woman,” Dean told DailyMail.com on November 15.
“I’m taking accountability for that today. And it’s the biggest amend that I’m ever going to have to make.”
McDermott and Spelling share five children: Liam, 16, Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, 7.
They’ve appeared on multiple family reality shows and spoke openly over the years about the obstacles they’ve faced as a couple… from McDermott cheating on his wife to the pair struggling mightily with their finances.
Several months ago, due to his addiction issues and also the family’s proliferation of pets, McDermott moved out of master bedroom.
This sparked the beginning of the end, he now acknowledges.
“I drew that boundary for myself and moved to another room and things just progressed from there. There were no efforts to sort of remedy the problem to get back into the room.”
McDermott also cites his heavy drinking as a significant reason for this split.
“Alcohol made me feel good enough. I started feeling good enough until it got to a point where it didn’t – it ended up in isolation,” he told The Daily Mail.
“It ended up with me drinking a fifth of tequila every night, seven days a week, and a handful of narcos by myself with a beautiful family in the other room.
“That’s what it led to and that’s what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and Tori. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t live that life anymore. I was tired of the anger and the yelling.”
The actor does now say he’s sober after spending time this summer in rehab.
After awhile, McDermott says the pair starting living like “roommates,” as opposed to spouses.
He blames his alcoholism for his affair, too, telling the aforementioned outlet:
“The shame was so great with that because it was everywhere — everybody knew and everybody knew what a piece of sh-t I was.”
The couple then examined their relationship and his infidelity on a reality TV series, True Tori, which McDermott says was “a horrible idea,” elaborating as follows:
“I thought it would help people. I was too fresh out of treatment to even think straight that that would be a bad idea.”
At this point, both Spelling and McDermott are dating other people; they have not yet filed for divorce.
“It’s going to be living the rest of my life making amends because I took something that was really beautiful and I just tore it down year after year, day after day,” McDermott says of the part he played in the couple’s eventual downfall, concluding:
“She’s given it to me for 18 years and I’ve been so hard and brutal on her that I just want her to be loved and happy.
“She deserves it. It’s just really tough. I’m not making excuses. I certainly had my hand in it in the dissolution of the relationship.
“But yeah, hasn’t been easy. Nothing in life is easy.”