Geoffrey Paschel: I Banged More Than 500 Chicks ... And They're All Lying Jerks!

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Big Ed Brown has inspired roughly 43 million memes, and Larissa Lima's porn career is making a lot of headlines these days.

But for our money, when you're talking about the most purely ridiculous human being introduced to the world by 90 Day Fiance, no one can top Geoffrey Paschel.

Geoff Paschel

One of the wildest things about Geoffrey is that he snuck up on us.

The Tennessee-based father of three seemed relatively normal -- especially by 90 Day Fiance standards -- throughout much of his season.

Sure, he'd done time for dealing drugs, but compared to some of the folks he was sharing screen time with, Paschel still came off looking relatively stable and well-adjusted.

Geoffrey Paschel 90 Day Fiance

But it wasn't long before the ugly truth about Geoffrey came to light.

As a result of stunning revelations about his past, Paschel was essentially fired from the show before his season's Tell All episodes.

Paschel claims he was not fired, and was simply not invited to participate, but it feels like he's just quibbling over semantics at this point.

Anyway, while he was wooing Varya Malina, Geoffrey worked hard to create the impression that his legal problems were part of his distant past.

Geoffrey and Varya

In reality, he had recently been involved in activities that made his drug-dealing past look positively quaint by comparison.

Paschel was arrested in June 2019 following a brutal attack on his then-girlfriend.

The situation escalated from there, as three women accused Paschel of rape and other forms of assault.

The allegations came to light before his season premiered, but TLC decided to air his episodes anyway.

Geoffrey Paschel

Throughout 2020, Geoffrey has attempted to deflect the barrage of bad press by shifting the blame to the accusers and claiming that all of his exes are liars.

He continued his habit of spinning highly unlikely yarns this week when he appeared on The Domenick Nati Show and claimed that he's had sex with over 500 women.

Not only that, Geoffrey says he bedded more than 100 women before he reached the age of 18.

Geoffrey on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days

"That’s not true! you’ve had sex with 500 women?” a stunned Nati asked.

“Maybe a little more,” Pachel responded. “Is that bad?”

Nati continued to express doubt -- which makes sense, as Paschel is an unrepentant liar -- but Geoffrey merely doubled-down.

“I’m being 100 percent honest. I was with 100 women when I was 18 years old. Is that bad?”

Geoffrey and Varya in Moscow

Weirdly, Geoffrey seemed almost as shocked by this revelation as Nati.

“Oh my gosh, I’m a f--ing whore!” he exclaimed at one point.

“You were with 100 women before you were 18?” Nati asked

“Well,” Geoffrey replied,  “At 18 I counted 118.”

Geoffrey Paschel with Mary

Now, it's certainly possible that Geoffrey had sex with 500 women in his life, but we're gonna go ahead and take issue with his account for several reasons:

1. This dude has two teenage sons, who are already grappling with the fact that their dad is an alleged rapist, a multiple felon, and a douchey reality star.

Maybe he doesn't need to toss a bunch of weird revelations about his sexual past on top of that pile of sh-t.

2. We don't believe much of what comes out of Paschel's mouth these days, particularly with regard to his sexual exploits.

Geoffrey Paschel, Varya Malina

Between his prison sentence and his child-rearing responsibilities, we're not sure when this dude would have had time to sleep with 500 women, but that's hardly the most shocking claim about his sex life we've heard in recent months -- which brings us to our next point:

3. Is this accused rapist really bragging about how many women he's had sex with?!

Like, Geoffrey has demonstrated time and again that he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but how did this not strike him as appallingly tone deaf and insensitive line of conversation given his circumstances?

Here's hoping Varya, Mary, and every other woman in this guy's life is currently running away from this mess of a man.

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