Unlike some of her erstwhile frenemies, Kelly Dodd is still part of The Real Housewives of Orange County for Season 15.
Now, she’s shading both Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge with a truly disgusting analogy. Brace yourselves.
Kelly spoke to TooFab with a tasteless and vulgar analogy for Tamra and Vicki’s departure from the Bravo show.
"You know when you like have a fart and it really hurts and it gets in your stomach and gets in knots," she begins.
"And then," Kelly unfortunately continues, "you release it and then it feels better? Kind of like that."
"Kind of like that relief," she describes Tamra and Vicki’s departure.
"Uncomfortable and it hurts and then you release the gas and you’re all good."
That is, frankly, a disgusting analogy.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but my mother didn’t raise me to discuss things that foul and juvenile.
Of course, most of us weren’t raised to push our moms down the stairs, so perhaps we should consider the source.
To hear Kelly tell it, she doesn’t harbor any ill will towards her former rivals.
"I wish them the best," she insists.
Kelly adds: "I hope that they have a great life."
If you read between the lines, she’s clearly saying that now that they’re no longer on the show with her, they are beneath her notice.
"They don’t run in my circles," Kelly says of the former Housewives, "where like Shannon does."
"Shannon and I have the same friends," she observes.
"She lives in the same neighborhood as I," Kelly notes, using correct grammer.
She adds: "Same as Braunwyn,"
Now, it has been reported (by Tamra) that Andy Cohen told her to expect to return to RHOC for Season 16.
It is entirely possible that Tamra and even Vicki could return, depending upon audience reactions and ratings.
"It doesn’t bother me," Kelly says of that possibility.
She claims: "I don’t care one way or another."
As for the current cast of the show, Kelly sounds very satisfied with the new normal.
"We have real relationships," she says. "We are real friends."
"It’s really good," Kelly characterizes.
"And we’re not even missing them," she claims, "at all."
"Before it wasn’t like that," Kelly recalls.
She characterizes the show and cast’s previous dynamic by saying "it was kind of negative."
That is not to say that the current state of the show is magically free of drama.
"Oh yea," Kelly assures fans, "its already coming up with a bang."
We need to remember that Kelly speaks for herself and not for the entire cast.
Maybe Kelly isn’t missing Vicki or Tamra, but doesn’t it seem likely that Shannon misses her fellow Tres Amigas?
Without them, she is just the Una Amiga, and has to adjust to a wildly different dynamic.
And who is to say that Braunwyn, at least, doesn’t miss Tamra?
Braunwyn made no secret of how much she, ahem, enjoyed being castmates with Tamra Judge.
On some level, fans suspect that she is probably looking forward to Tamra’s return in Season 16.
And that is if, of course, that really happens.
Whatever Andy and other bigwigs at Bravo may have planned for the show, ratings and other surprises will dictate the show’s course.