There was a time when Vanderpump Rules was a breath of fresh air in the Bravo lineup.
Amid all the manufactured feuds between middle-aged one-percenters, here was a series about a group of struggling young people in the all-too relatable position of being uncertain what the future holds, or how they would make that month's rent.
These days, however, the show is a different animal entirely.
One cast member has already reached the big 4-0, and the milestone is on the not-too-distanct horizon for several others.
Gone are the days of struggling to make ends meet at SUR and bickering over sexual liaisons.
Now, the cast argues about real estate prices and party-planning SNAFUs.
We're not shaming them for finding success, and we're certainly not shaming them for getting older.
One is an admirable accomplishment, and the other happens to all of us.
But recent episodes have made it clear that the drama that made the show famous will be increasingly scarce from here on out, and the last-second addition of some fresh-faced cast members isn't doing much to ameliorate the problem.
Anyway, party-planning drama is what we have, so party-planning drama is what we'll talk about.
Last week, it was Stassi's book signing at TomTom, and we imagine there were some people who were hoping that nothingburger would be a source of conflict for the rest of the season?
Well, we've got good news for both of you!
Tom Sandoval is still super jelly about his castmate's success and is still sacrificing his "nice guy" title by being a flat-out douche-nozzle about the whole thing.
You almost hope this conflict is scripted, because if it's not, Sandoval has some severe emotional issues.
What does dude own, like 2.5 percent of TomTom?
Coincidentally, that's the percentage of his soul that isn't burning with jealousy over Stassi's success.
This week, of course, the gang was in Miami for Jax and Brittany's bachelorette exarvaganza, so most of the party planning drama had to do with Jax and Brittany's wedding.
In case you were wondering, yes, that's going to be the central theme of every episode this season.
Naturally, the guys went to strip club, where Jax went full creepy middle-aged guy on some strippers half his age.
Meanwhile, the girls danced in tacky wedding dresses at a pair of South Beach clubs.
At the second loacation, the staff brought out a sign that read, "Don't do it, Brittany!" which is clearly their standard joke for bachelorette parties.
Sh-tfaced beyond reckoning, Brittany went into tantrum mode.
"I hear it every f--king day, people telling me that they don't like me, they don't like Jax, they don't like us together," she ranted.
"So the last thing I wanted was to come on my bachelorette party and have to go out and [see] a f--king sign saying, 'Don't do it, Brittany!'"
Yes, this is an entire storyline about Brittany drunkenly overreacting to a joke.
It's worth pointing out a couple things here:
1. Jax cheated on Brittany like a few months before he proposed, so a lot of people are gonna think he's a creep because of his past.
2. During Brit's signage meltdown, Jax was neck-deep in strippers, so a lot of people are gonna think he's a creep because he still is.
And that, folks, is what Vanderpump Rules is offering in its wildly unnecessary eighth season.
But hey, at least we got to see Beau Clark remind Tom Sandoval that he sucks.
Oh, and no James Kennedy -- bonus!