If you couldn't tell from Selena Gomez's new music, she has a lot to say about her former relationship with Justin Bieber.
Now that he's married, Selena is opening up with her non-lyrical reflections, describing herself as having been a victim of emotional abuse.
Selena Gomez opened up to NPR about her life, her struggles, and where she is now.
When asked if her final breakup with the Biebs was one of the hardest parts of her life, her answer was supremely honest.
"I’ve found the strength in it," Selena says in reference to the fateful split, which was followed just months later by Justin's engagement to Hailey Baldwin.
She expresses: "It’s dangerous to stay in a victim mentality."
"And I’m not being disrespectful," Selena continues, "I do feel I was a victim to certain abuse."
She quickly clarifies after she is asked if she is referring to "emotional abuse."
"Yes," Selena confirms.
Emotional abuse can take many forms, from constant verbal criticism to selective emotional distance to a refusal to be pleased, and more.
Selena continues: "and I think that it’s something that I had to find a way to understand it as an adult."
She is 27 years old now, and will turn 28 in July. She was just a teenager when she and Justin first got together.
"And I had to understand the choices I was making," she affirms.
Sometimes, just because you have lingering feelings or even love for someone doesn't mean that you should be in a relationship with them.
"As much as I definitely don’t want to spend the rest of my life talking about this," Selena says.
She continues, expressing: "I am really proud that I can say I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt."
Selena concludes: "and I’ve found a way to just walk through it with as much grace as possible."
We can absolutely understand why she wants to move on from this topic just as she moved on from that disaster of a relationship.
Naturally, people are going to wonder what Selena may have meant when she referred to emotional abuse.
If one listens to her lyrics from songs in Revival, it seems clear that she felt that Justin at times presented himself as someone he was not.
Additionally, in the song "Sober" and then in the song "It Ain't Me," Selena makes clear references to alcohol dependency.
The line "you don't know how to love me when you're sober" is strongly descriptive of someone who withholds affection in a toxic manner.
But taking lyrics literally can be a slippery slope, even though the world is well aware of Justin's struggles with sobriety.
One doesn't need lyrics to acknowledge that for many years, Justin had a reputation for being a huge jerk with anger issues.
And then there were reports that he took Selena on "church dates" to Hillsong Church, where they catered to his every wish.
It was suggested at the time that he was trying to make Selena believe, as he apparently did, that God wanted them to be together.
That's all kinds of screwed up, especially considering that he was apparently pulling the exact same thing with Hailey just months later.
That would certainly qualify as toxic behavior and perhaps a form of emotional abuse.
Congratulations to Selena for her incredible new album, Rare (my favorite new song is definitely "Dance Again").
We are overjoyed that she is moving on and in a happier and healthier place.