Hannah Brown may be Dancing with the Stars at the moment.
But Luke Parker is still whining about how he was portrayed on The Bachelorette.
The scorned former suitor still takes exception to that whole slut-shaming thing.
For those who need a refresher: Parker was a polarizing contestant on this past season of the aforementioned ABC reality series.
An admitted player in college who often got his intercourse on, Parker explained that God spoke to him one day in the shower and told him to cool it with all that pre-marital pounding.
As a result, he was committed to a newly-discovered life of celibacy until he exchanged vows with someone.
Which, you know, cool, awesome, terrific… whatever makes you happy and fulfilled, dude. Go with God, man.
This viewpoint became an issue, however, late in Parker’s run, most notably when he sat down for dinner with Hannah right around Fantasy Suite Week.
"Sex is an incredible thing, and it’s a beautiful thing…only when it’s within the guidelines of marriage," Parker said to Hannah during this meal, expounding as follows at the time:
"And thinking about fantasy suites, like I’ve heard people proclaim their faith, but yet they’ve said things like, ‘I’m excited for fantasy suites, I want to explore this relationship on a sexually intimate level, and that’s what I’m looking forward to,’ and to me that’s like, uh, what, excuse me?
"There’s something I’m missing here.
"Like I don’t believe that’s something that you should be doing and I just want to make sure you’re not going to be sexually intimate with the other relationships here."
This obviously sounds totally ridiculous and controlling and insane and against the entire point of the show, which is to find out — in various ways — with whom the star has chemistry.
And yet Luke wasn’t even finished.
"I totally have all the trust in the world for you, but at the same time I just want to make sure we’re on the same page," he said back then.
"Like, if you told me you were having sex, or you had sex with one or multiple of these guys, I’d be wanting to go home, 100 percent.
"But if that’s something you’re not going through then I’m just going to continue to grow the relationship and move on.’
It’s actually not unfair at all to want assurances you and your potential spouse share the same view on sex — it just seemed evident from Hannah’s reaction that she and Parker did not.
And, based on how she responded, that she never gave Luke any indication to think otherwise.
"Umm…sex is a very big deal to me, and I’ve said like, I’ve had sex with two people in my life, and it was long relationships I thought were going to be my husband," she replied at the time, adding:
"But like, some of the things that you said, I don’t agree with at all. And honestly, I’m like kinda mad, because like, the way that you just said that is like, why do you have the right to do that?
"Because you’re not my husband."
As it turned out, Hannah had slept with Peter Weber inside of a windmill — four times in one night.
Brown ended up sending Parker home for the way he talked to her and treated her.
However, Luke just went on Reality Steve’s podcast yesterday and once again tried to defend himself.
"She told me she shared the same heart and convictions as me and she wanted to abstain from sex before marriage," Luke said on the show.
"That’s why I’m so confused and that’s why you see the look on my face when she tells me about the windmill."
It’s very possible that Luke and Hannah talked in a general sense about a shared religion and/or faith in Jesus Christ.
But unless Hannah specifically said she was not going to sleep with anyone until marriage, Parker is either full of it… or simply wildly misunderstood what Hannah was saying.
"I didn’t have an issue with it towards her," Luke said on the podcast about her Fantasy Suite sex. "It was the fact that she told me that was what she didn’t want to do."
Did she really say that, though?
"On the fantasy suite date dinner night in Greece, she’s telling me that she doesn’t want to have sex before marriage," Luke said straight up to Reality Steve here.
"And then she drops all of this on me. And I’m sitting there and I’m like, well alright, if that’s something you don’t want to do and now you’re telling me you’ve done it…
"This is the path that now you’re on when you told me you wanna be on this path, let’s go on this path together, let’s make it work, let’s figure this thing out. And she’s looking at me like, uh-uh, go home.
"So I was just caught off guard."
It’s hard to know exactly what to believe here, except for this:
Luke Parker could have had sex with Hannah Brown and chose not to. What an idiot.