Joe Giudice: Please Let Me Back in the Frickin' U.S. ... So I Can Divorce Teresa!

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Prior to his current deportation nightmare, Joe Giudice spent three years in federal prison on tax evasion charges.

It's an unusual set of circumstances, to state the obvious.

Teresa Touches Joe

Typically, this situation would likely lead many in Joe's position to adopt one of two diametrically-opposed mindsets:

1. Some would resolve to make the most of their new life in Naples, Italy, because hey, anything beats prison, right?

2. Others might feel that they already wasted three years of their life on hard cots, putrid food, and hostile cellmates.

As such, they're almost obliged to make up for that time by exacting revenge and carving out a piece of the good life!

Joe Giudice Lost Weight

We think it's safe to say Juicy Joe is in the latter camp. See above for the evidence posted on his daughter's Instagram.

Fans were shocked by the photo evidence of the father of four's dramatic weight loss and newly chiseled physique.

And it seems the former reality star is in fighting shape in more ways than one ... he's angling for a court battle or two!

Teresa Giudice Hold Hands

According to a new report from celeb news site Radar Online, Joe is planning to launch two legal battles simultaneously.

His top priority, of course, is regaining his U.S. citizenship - which we hate to tell him, might be a longshot at this point.

Considering his felony conviction, and that Joe's appeals have already been denied at least three times, it doesn't look promising.

Joe Giudice on Way to Court

But if the 47-year-old father of four is permitted to return to the Garden State, it seems Joe's first order of business will be filing for divorce against Teresa Giudice

In court documents filed on Tuesday, Joe's attorneys argue that the crimes which landed him in prison do not constitute aggravated felonies of the kind that would justify his deportation.

How does he figure that?

Teresa Giudice and Hubby

The judge in Joe's case is of the opinion that the Giudices essentially stole from the bank they defrauded - which makes sense to us - but Joe's lawyers say that's not the case:

“There was no loss… because Wells Fargo forgave the two Wachovia loans in 2012 as part of the settlement with the New Jersey Attorney General’s Office,” the filing reads.

“As a matter of basic logic as well as plain English, which escapes the government, one cannot be considered to have lost what one has already agreed to relinquish," Joe's lawyers continue (rather sassily, we might add).

Milania Giudice and Joe Giudice

“For all the above reasons, this Court should reverse the order of removal and either order termination or remand for further proceedings."

Is it bit of a stretch to think that'll work?

Sure. More than a bit.

But hey, when you've already had three appeals denied, we guess it's time to start swinging for the fences.

Joe Giudice on the Phone

As for the other prong in Joe's mounting offensive, insiders say he's finally seeing the writing on the wall personally too:

Teresa is dating Blake Schreck, and she's made no secret of the fact that she has every intention of ending her marriage.

Rather than continuing to fight for the relationship, Joe has reportedly decided to get a jump on the divorce proceedings.

Joe & Teresa Giudice Image

“Most likely, he will have an advantage and get a better deal in terms of custody if he files first in U.S. court,” one insider tells Radar.

And it seems that in the upcoming legal battle of Giudice v. Giudice, there's a lot more at stake than just money:

“He could actually get the right to have the children go visit him during the summers or Christmas time," says the insider.

Teresa and Joe Giudice Reunite

“It’s always an advantage to file first, because you choose the court, you choose the jurisdiction, you choose the judge, it’s a whole different story if you file first.”

Yes, folks, it sounds like Juicy Joe is making moves.

And as a result, his kids may want to learn to say "merry Christmas" in Italian by the end of the year.

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