It's been almost two years since Farrah Abraham was fired from Teen Mom 2.
While Abraham has somehow managed to remain relevant during that time (depending on your definition of relevance), she's clearly missing those massive MTV paychecks.
Financially speaking, 2019 hasn't been kind to the mother of one.
Several of Farrah's businesses have closed, and it looks as though she's paying the bills with sex work.
There's no shame in a single mom doing what she has to do to get by -- but these days, a cushy reality TV gig is probably sounding mighty nice to Mrs. Abraham.
So it should come as no surprise that Farrah has taken to shamelessly buttering up her old bosses.
Over the weekend, she made an appearance at a party celebrating the 100th episode of Marriage Boot Camp.
Speaking with E! News at the event, Farrah revealed that she would be open to returning to the show that made her famous.
Not only that, she has a plan to help rescue Teen Mom OG amid declining ratings and increasing apathy from viewers.
Asked by a correspondent if she plans to return to the "small screen" Farrah made two important revelations:
1. She clearly doesn't know that the "small screen" is a figure of speech people use to refer to television, and
2. She fancies herself some sort of media/marketing guru these days.
"Is that a small screen? I think it could be big," Abraham said.
"I think Teen Mom should definitely be taking over YouTube, on the airplane when I'm traveling, all over," she added.
"Maybe I'll have to work on the distribution and business part, and then I'll come back."
YouTube! Airplanes! Farrah sounds like a little kid playing board meeting with her stuffed animals -- and the delusion doesn't end there!
"I'm just blessed to have good relationships with the executives and producers and the people that I first met, so that's great," she went on.
"But I do wish the other ladies the best. They're trying their hardest."
So ... now she's on great terms with the execs who fired her and the former co-stars who won't talk to her?
Whatever you say, Farrah.
Asked about the fact that she's been communicating with Jenelle Evans, Farrah replied that she's not allowed to talk about the friendship.
"Am I allowed? You know, I actually have some big stuff that I promised some executives at Viacom that I would not be talking about that, but I wish all the Teen Mom ladies, Teen Mom especially, all the best," she said.
Yeah, that's Farrah trying to make you think she has some sort of big project in the works with Jenelle and Viacom (MTV's parent company).
Asked why she seems so much more chill toward her former employers these days, Farrah avoids the obvious reply ("I'm broke, and I need my job back!"), preferring instead her signature brand of BS:
She credits "the lovely anger management that I've been given from court a couple times" with helping her deal with the haters, adding:
"Yeah, just passing that along in a fun and knowledgable way because kids don't really want to hear 'anger management' or 'be thoughtful' or 'just keep it quiet.' But I've learned it now."
As for what the future holds, Farrah sees big things for both herself and her daughter:
"Sofia is the big 10, she's doing good. She's going to castings every day. She's a little star in her own right. I'm so blessed and thankful for my daughter that I have," Farrah said.
"Hopefully there's going to be a lot of great mother-daughter projects where you guys can see us."
Asked about her own prospects, Abraham adds:
"I have been working over a year with screenwriting, turning my New York Times bestselling book, My Teenage Dream Ended, into a feature film,"
"It's amazing. Maybe I'll be an entertainment lawyer one day. I think I'm great at that."
Uh-huh. No one tell her you need a degree for that.
It'll be funny when she just shows up in court one day and starts spouting Farrah-speak.