Little People, Big World star and social media mainstay Audrey Roloff has been through a great deal over the past few days.
By her own candid admission.
In a revealing and heart-shattering new Instagram post, the TLC reality personality explains why she's been going through some hard times.
Or some "pretty intense roses and thorns," as she and husband Jeremy Roloff sometimes say on their podcast.
The main reason why?
She has lost a friend named Jarrid Wilson to suicide.
"On Ember’s 2nd birthday we found out that our friend Jarrid took his own life," wrote Audrey online, adding in awful detail:
"It was shocking and absolutely heart-breaking news. I couldn’t breathe when I found out and sobbed for hours."
"Ember saw my tears, “Sad mama?” We sat on the couch together and she kept giving my pats on my shoulder and saying:
“It’s ok mama, no more crying, happy mama?”
"When I kept crying she would wipe away my tears and say, “blow mama, blow” and she would show me how to blow just like I do with her when she’s upset. Cue more tears."
Seriously, now we're crying.
Audrey, who is expecting a boy in January 2020, continued in her post:
"Jarrid and his wife Juli have been such faithful encouragers and good friends since before we were married."
The 28-year-old Roloff continued:
"As we’ve been crying, processing, and praying, we’ve felt all the emotions that come with loss - anger, confusion, hurt, shock, etc."
A woman of strong faith, Audrey then turned her focus to religion and how she has tried to cope with this tragedy:
"This past week I just keep thinking about @itsjuliwilson and her two boys and praying in desperation."
Anyone who has experienced anything similarly tragic can relate.
"Praying that Lord would give those boys peace that surpasses understanding. That Juli would be flooded with prayer, love, encouraging truth, practical help, and compassion."
"That Jarrid’s life would be honored well."
"That people who struggle with anxiety, depression, and mental illness would not lose hope. And ultimately, that people who don’t struggle with mental illness would be compassionate."
At this point, much to our extreme admiration, Audrey wrote about the sort of troubles that inflict many people who take their own lives:
Mental illnesss has a lot of stigma around it, unfortunately especially in the church.
I think we can be better, especially in times of mourning, to be less critical and more compassionate. To be quicker to love than to judge. To be more like a two-year old comforting her mama.
To be “compassionate and gracious, slow to anger; and abounding in love and faithfulness” (Psalm 86:15).
And she concluded by first marveling over her daughter:
While I was sitting on the couch with Ember mourning the loss of our friend, I realized how much more COMPASSIONATE my 2 year old is than most adults...
And then by bidding her friend a sorrowful farewell:
Sometimes people just need you to sit with them, wipe their tears, and blow. We love you Jarrid.
Well put, all around.
We send our condolences to Jarrid, his family members, friends and loved ones.