We’re still a few days away from the premiere of Hannah Brown’s season of The Bachelorette, but we already know there are some major surprises in store.
Sure, the question of who Hannah will end up with has mostly been answered by The Bachelorette spoilers, but there’s certain to be plenty of twists and turns on the road to the final rose.
Take the strange saga of Matteo Valles, for example.
Like the rest of this season’s suitors (read the latest Bachelorette spoilers to see who makes it to the end), Matteo recently submitted information for a short bio designed to help viewers get to know the studs in Hannah’s stable.
Matteo listed several nuggets of information, such as the fact that he once chugged a gallon of milk in 10 seconds (seems impossible, but whatevs), his dream job is firefighter, and … he’s fathered 114 children?!
No, that’s not a typo.
We didn’t mean to write "11 children" or "14 children" – though both of those broods would also be absurdly large for anyone not named Michelle Duggar.
Believe it or not, according to Matteo’s bio, the 25-year-old has “helped create 114 children for all types of families.”
Fortunately – or perhaps unfortunately from Hannah’s perspective – Matteo is not the world’s most in-demand male gigolo.
The reality is much more admirable – albeit boring – than that, as Valles is apparently a very active sperm donor.
So we suppose it’s a credit to Matteo’s genes that so many people chose his swimmers to fertilize their eggs.
Will that help his standing with Hannah, or will she be weirded out by the fact that there are so many genetic copies of Matteo running around the greater Atlanta area?
As for the latest on Hannah, we learned this week that she sent her frontrunner packing in a surprise decision.
As part of this week’s promotional materials, ABC also released a statement from Ms. Brown reminding us that she’s in this thing for all the right reasons:
“I would love to have that opportunity to meet somebody. That’s the desire of my heart – to be married and to have a family,” she said.
“I think that can happen on a television show or at a coffee shop and it’s going to happen for me someday," Hannah added.
"I’m not going to keep putting a timeline on it, but it’s gonna be somebody who chooses me and I’m gonna choose them back too.”
Well, if it’s a family she’s after, Hannah might want to settle down with Matteo.
We don’t know much about him at this point, but the man is certainly fertile!
