Long before he became the unlikeliest president since Franklin Pierce stumbled out of a saloon and into the Oval Office, Donald Trump was one of the most popular figures on Twitter.
That's not terribly surprising, as Trump's personality is perfectly suited to the platform.
If an all-caps "hot take" became sentient and developed a taste for McGriddles and ludicrously oversized suitcoats from the Vincent Adultman collection, it would basically be Donald John Trump.
During his shockingly successful presidential campaign, there was much speculation as to how Trump would use Twitter if he got elected.
It turns out the answer is -- exactly the way he used it before he became president.
And why would anyone expect otherwise?
After all, the Donald prides himself on his unwillingness to change, and he's repeatedly boasted that no one is "better at Twitter."
So it must really chap his ruddy ass to know that former president Barack Obama has a much larger following.
Yes, believe it or not, Obama boasts a following of 100 million to Trump's 60 million.
Obviously, Obama is a more popular and less controversial figure, but the news is still somewhat surprising, as it feels like you can't open any social media platform these days without hearing talk of Trump's Twitter account.
The myriad ways in which Trump benefited from lax social media regulations during the 2016 election have been well-documented over the years.
But now that he's failed to gain any ground on the man who might be his most hated political rival, the president wants the people in charge to do something, dammit!
Enter Twitter CEO and impish elf from a Tolkien novel, Jack Dorsey.
Dorsey isn't nearly as public a figure as Mark Zuckerberg (largely because far fewer people use his platform), so if you're unfamiliar with his persona, let's just say he's every bit the absurdly wealthy eccentric douche as Zuck, but in a very different way.
If Zuckerberg is the STEM geek who hacked into your school's computers freshman year, Dorsey is the self-consciously "alt" weirdo who always wears a beanie inside and carries his guitar everywhere.
(We'll refer you to the time Dorsey asked Azealia Banks to protect him from ISIS using magic beard hair as an example of this douchiness.)
Anyway, according to The Daily Beast when Trump met with Dorsey at the White House on Tuesday, the president was not shy about bringing up the issue of his lagging metrics.
“Trump has repeatedly griped to associates about how Obama has had more Twitter followers than he has,” two people close to his administration told the outlet, “even though — by Trump’s own assessment — he is so much better at Twitter than Obama is.”
Amazingly, multiple outlets have now confirmed that Trump spent much of the afternoon bitching about his comparatively paltry following.
The Washington Post is now reporting that Trump spent a “significant portion” of the meeting accusing Twitter of intentionally stripping him of followers.
Believe it or not, this is a common complaint.
For much of the past two years, conservatives have complained of being "shadow banned" by Twitter -- despite a total lack of evidence and repeated denials from Dorsey himself.
"Let me be clear about one important and foundational fact,” he said.
“Twitter does not use political ideology to make any decisions, whether related to ranking content on our service or how we enforce our rules.”
Dorsey explained this week that the president' lost followers were mostly purged "bot" accounts, but obviously he's wasting his breath on this matter.
Trump's baffling hatred of his predecessor dates back to the time when he demanded to see Obama's birth certificate and nothing is going to cause our large adult president to give this tantrum a rest.
Not even if 40 million Russian bots emerged to finally give him the upper hand in the world's pettiest popularity contest.