Lindsay Lohan Says She's Back & Better Than Ever, World Disagrees

by at .

Lindsay Lohan has been having quite a time lately.

That used to mean she's been hitting the clubs and living up the nickname Blohan, but these days it means something quite different.

Lindsay Lohan at a Fashion Show

Lindsay is in the process of reinventing herself as the poor man's Angelina Jolie, and it seems becoming a respected humanitarian isn't as easy as she had hoped.

For one thing, Lindsay has a difficult time distinguishing the good guys from the bad.

(Note to other aspiring philanthropists: Don't become a Turkish spy.)

Adding to the difficulty is that charity work and raising awareness of important issues seem to be Angie's top priorities, whereas Linds is still awkwardly trying to climb the Hollywood ladder.

Her latest effort takes the form of a weird reality prank show that sounds like it basically just recreates the crappy experience of losing your phone.

Lindsay Lohan Tries to Be Sexy

The series is called The Anti-Social Network, which would've been a great joke in, like, 2010.

In it, Lindsay takes control of contestants' social media pages and ruins their lives for cash.

Obviously, Lohan is a bizarre choice for the gig, as she's not a comedian, and her only experience with reality TV is a limited series that documented her own downward spiral.

But the promotional materials promise Lindsay is "back and better than ever."

Feel free to file a false adverting lawsuit any time.

Lindsay Lohan Dazzles At 2016 Butterfly Ball

"I love social media," Lindsay says of the show.

"I mean, I am social media. Everybody knows you should never leave your phone lying around, especially near me,"

Yes, Lindsay Lohan is social media.

Also, Lindsay Lohan steals stuff, which we already knew, but it's good to hear her finally admit it.

If, for some reason, you're dying to watch the The Anti-Social Network, you may be out of luck.

Lindsay Lohan: Sexy Pose Attempt

It's a British production, and it currently doesn't seem there are any plans to air it in the States.

We're sure your devastated.

But don't worry, the show is just one part of Lindsay's multi-faceted plan to jumpstart her '89 Ford Pinto of a career.

Hilariously, Lindsay wants to star in a live-action Little Mermaid remake, which is so never happening, but it's fun to see her keep trying.

Plus, she's probably acting as an unregistered foreign agent for the Turkish government, so you might get to watch a whole fun trial starring Lindsay in the very near future!


Show Comments
Tags: ,

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo
Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan