Stassi Schroeder: Headed to Million Dollar Matchmaker?!

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If you watched this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules, you know that Stassi Schroeder seems to have found something approaching real contentment.

No, there's no new man in her life, but she does have a body pillow, an apartment to redecorate, and a newfound love for something called Princess Water.

All in all, not bad for someone who - just a few short years ago - was dumping Jax Taylor's protein powder down her sink and issuing bizarrely specific threats of violence to her friends.

Stassi Schroeder Shrugs

Anyway, Stassi may be loving life at the moment, but it seems she also feels there's something missing:

That's right: guest stop on another Bravo reality show.

No, no - what we're talking about a relationship, of course.

After all, the people in Stassi's life are coupling up left and right.

Stassi Schroeder: Mark Zunino Atelier Opening

Even, freakin' Kristen Doute has a boyfriend (whom she may of may not have cheated on with Jax's girlfriend)!

Sure, Scheana and Shay might be divorced, but that's a discussion for another time.

The point is, Scheana strikes us as as the "girl who's always had a boyfriend" type, and she can't be thrilled by the fact that her friends are taking turns walking down the aisle in Very Special Episodes without her.

At the the start of this season, she was kinda back "on" with her seldom-seen boyfriend Patrick, who we're starting to think might be a Bob Sacamano/Maris Crane-style reculse/figment of Stassi's imagination.

But either they broke up again, or she hit on the right combination of meds that finally allowed her to see him as just a crumpled LaCoste and $14 IPA on the floor of her apartment.

Stassi Crying

Either way, based on her latest exchange with Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger, it seems Stassi is very much single and ready to threaten to bathe some dude's junk in carbolic acid while he sleeps.

"Work your magic, girl! @pattistanger," Stassi tweeted last week.

"You are on my brain, working on it! Xo," Stanger responded.

Yes, so it looks like we're about to see some sort of Matchmaker/Vanderpump crossover.

Hopefully, while she's at Sur, Patti can help out the rest of the cast too.

We think James Kennedy and that wood chipper from Fargo would make a wonderful couple.

Watch Vanderpump Rules online to remind yourself of the extent to which Kennedy makes Rudy Giulilani look like a Ryan Gosling "Hey, girl" meme come to life.

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