Mike Tyson is a Donald Trump supporter, which is surprising for a number of reasons.
After all, Tyson is a man of color, a Muslim, and an ex-con, meaning he belongs to at least three groups that Trump has nothing but open disdain for.
Then again, we're guessing Trump has the unanimous support of the "regrettable facial tattoo" bloc, so it all kind of make sense.
Of course, Tyson is a unique case in that he has cause for not casting a vote for Trump goes well beyond the many, many obvious reasons.
There's no delicate way to put this that won't leave an indelible, nightmare-fueling image in your mind, so we'll just come right out with it:
Trump may have f--ked Tyson's wife.
Or rather, his ex-wife, Robin Givens, who married Tyson in 1988.
The marriage lasted just over a year (53 weeks, to be exact), but it was rife with so much drama that its still making headlines to this day.
The latest comes to us from Tim O'Brien's book TrumpNation, which was first published in 2005, but saw a resurgence in popularity thanks to Trump's 18-month Gas-Lighting America! tour.
The following excerpt from O'Brien's book is simply too good to paraphrase:
“Mr. Trump, could I ask you a question?” Tyson asked.
“Whatever you want, Mike,” Donald responded.
“Are you f--king my wife?”
“Are you f--king my wife? Everyone’s telling me that you’re fucking my wife.”
Tyson then pulled out a copy of Vogue magazine that feature a picture of Ms. Givens wearing a Trump Princess hat from Donald’s yacht.
"Everyone’s telling me that you’re fucking my wife and I think you’re f--king my wife,” Tyson said.
“Mike, let me tell you something: I never ever even thought about it. And I heard those rumors and they’re disgusting.
"In fact, I called you a couple of times to tell you that I heard those rumors and it pisses me off. And I never, ever even thought about it. She’s your wife, she’s with you, she’s loyal to you, and it’s total bullsh-t.”
A few things to point out here:
1. Trump Princess hats need to be made available for ironic purchase.
2. Robin Givens is an actress who posed nude for Playboy. She's exactly the kind of woman Trump is obsessed with. There's no way he "never even thought about" sleeping with her.
3. The rumor about Trump and Givens reportedly originated with Tyson's then-manager, Don King.
Interestingly, King just endorsed Trump in hilarious fashion last week:
O'Brien goes on to say that after their conversation, Tyson asked Trump if he could take a nap on the couch in his office.
Tyson proceeded to sleep for several hours.
When an employee pointed out to Trump that the champ was drooling on his leather sofa, Trump reportedly responded:
“You wake him and tell him."
We won't go so far as to say you can't make this stuff up.
But we're really, really hoping this all happened.