Kelly Clarkson: still not gay ... or is her husband just a beard?
Clarkson took her LGBeef-tea to a Good Housekeeping luncheon for safe-keeping ... and what she said just about shocked the shorts off us.
(Because she said she's not gay - that's the shocking part.)
In the interview, Kelly said, "I'm from a small town in the south."
Everyone thought I was gay 'cause I wasn't married with kids already!" she laughed.
"And I was like, 'That's kind of insulting to the gay community."
"But especially in this day and age," she continued, "I had a very high bar."
We're not exactly sure what she means about that bar - unless it's an allusion to a sex toy, perhaps, but the south wasn't the only one who thought Kells was pitching for her own team.
She continued by talking about her husband and her family, and how great things have been, and we just think, you know, if she's gay, she's gay.
That bar's been set in a pretty comfortable place, and whether she is or isn't, she shouldn't be ashamed one way or the other.
"I think the biggest thing is just getting married later in life," she explained.
"You change so much in your twenties," she continued. "I mean [my husband] got married at 21 in his first marriage, and they both went 'What?!' "
"It can be very hard to grow in the same way," she said.
"Your twenties are all about growth and giant [mistakes]."
"I have an awesome life," she insisted, "and I can hold this down on my own."
"I learned that from my mother. She depended a lot, financially, on a man."
"I don't depend on [my husband], and he doesn't depend on me. We made our own way in our own right, and I think that's what really helps, too."
You know what also helps, Kelly? Being true to yourself. So, you know, as long as you're doing that, you've got things on lockdown.
And hey - if you ever do decide to come on out of that closet, you definitely have some pretty excellent door prizes - your adorable children.
Get it, girl: whatever - or whoever - it is!