We'd say it's been an unusual few weeks in Florida, what with the methy couple selling golden tickets to heaven, and the bath salts-addled restaurateur with his $368 billion check, but really this is all just part of a typical month in our nation's most WTF?! state.
Considering the batsh-t insanity of their actions, it's easy to forget that Floridians are subject to many of the same laws as the rest of us. For example, they're forbidden to have sex on public beaches in broad daylight with children and senior citizens nearby.
Apparently, Ben Caballero and Elissa Alvarez forgot about this sensible statute during a trip to the seaside last summer. The young Florida couple reportedly went ahead and got their bang on for a full 25 minutes in plain view of other beach-goers.
The incident took place almost a year ago and Caballero and Alvarez finally had their day in court today, and a jury found them guilty in just 15 minutes.
That's not so surprising, considering the damning nature of the evidence against them.
What is a bit shocking is the fact that both of the beach bangers might end up doing serious hard time for their act of coastal copulation!
No sentencing date has been announced, but it's expected that Alvarez will receive up to a year behind bars, while Caballero could get up to 15 years, due to a prior conviction.
Yikes. We know these two didn't exactly demonstrate sound decision-making skills but 15 years is a bit harsh, don't you think, Florida? It's enough to make us wanna dream up an extreme punishment of our own for several million counts of being Florida:
That's tough but fair. Check out the slideshow below for some of the best Florida Man stories of the past decade.
And don't worry, we didn't leave the ladies out. Florida Woman stories are also sure to make you laugh, cry and be thankful you live elsewhere: