Last year, Dan Bilzerian was arrested and charged with stockpiling materials that could be used to make explosives.
It was a serious allegation, but he wouldn't be the Most Interesting Man on Instagram if he let the possibility a few years in federal prison slow him down, right?
Dan cut a deal that allowed him to avoid prison by paying a hefty (by peasant standards) fine of $17,000 and shooting the following public service announcement, which, like Dan himself, is awesome for how terrible it is:
Doesn't sound quite like the hard-living playboy who's wild lifestyle has already resulted in three heart attacks.
Bilzerian clearly has no f--ks to give here, and you've gotta give him credit for not even pretending to be remotely interested in what he's saying. Hey, the guy agreed to serve the punishment, he didn't agree to like it.
At least he got to work in the awesome '80s movie poster-style painting of himself, as well as his self-coined catchphrase, "Jail, let's not do that again."
Of course, this isn't the end of Blitz's legal troubles.
Witnesses Bilzerian kicked a woman in the face during an appearance back in. Somehow, that didn't result in criminal charges, but Dan will likely have to fork over a tidy sum in a lawsuit.
Oh, and there's still the matter of that porn star he threw off his roof. Naturally, she's suing, too.
Yes, Dan's got a lot on his plate these days. If he didn't spend most of his time having orgies on top of piles of inherited money, we might almost feel bad for him.