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Here’s a story, of a lovely lady, that we didn’t expect to write about today:

Florence Henderson, forever known as the matriarch on The Brady Bunch, cheated on her husband in the 1960s with John Lindsay, the Mayor of New York City at the time… and the one-night stand resulted in an outbreak of crabs.

“I was lonely. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do,” the actress writes on “Life is Not a Stage,” a memoir that will be released on September 20.

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After the tryst at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Henderson awoke the next morning to “little black things” crawling over her bed and body.

A doctor diagnosed the STD as pubic lice, Lindsay sent flowers and a note of apology and Henderson learned a valuable lesson:

 
“I learned the hard way that crabs do not discriminate but cross over all socioeconomic strata,” she writes. “He must have had quite the active life. What a way to put the kibosh on a relationship.”

Yuck. We’d say.

Elsewhere in the biography, Henderson acknowledges that co-star Barry Williams had a crush on her, but she never would have slept with him. She also delves into childhood abuse, birth control, Broadway stardom and her second marriage to her therapist.