Face-Off: Who Will Win Dancing with the Stars?

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The seventh season of Dancing with the Stars is set to begin tonight. This season's cast promises to be a strong one, with no shortage of sexy pairings and compelling story lines. Two staffers at The Hollywood Gossip debate, in today's Face-Off ...


Ralph on Dancing With the Stars

CODY LINLEY by Hilton Hater

I have an apartment phone, a cell phone and a wireless connection.

In other words: Cody Linley will win Dancing with the Stars this season, if only because i'll use every piece of technology at my disposal to keep him and GORGEOUS partner Julianne Hough on my television for as long as possible.

Sure, Linley and Hough voters will have competition from horny men who have proven to be fans of Kim Kardashian contorting herself into various positions on screen. But, like boyfriend Reggie Bush in goal line situations, Kim won't come through when it matters.

Other competitors are too old (Cloris Leachman) or too uncomfortable wearing clothing (Brooke Burke) to stick around for very long.

But Linley possesses the ideal combination of youth and enthusiasm, innocence and determination, to pull it off. He's appeared opposite Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana's love interest for several episodes of that hit Disney Channel series.

And that experience ought to serve the actor well.

If you can successfully court the most popular teenager on the planet, you should have no problem doing the same for millions of fans.

LANCE BASS by Free Britney

There are plenty of awesome contestants, but there is but one clear favorite in this season's Dancing with the Stars cast. Let's break down the field:

At this stage of her life, Cloris Leachman needs to be worrying more about osteoperosis and hip replacements than perfecting her salsa moves. Next!

With a killer body and a history of nude photos, Brooke Burke was added to the cast simply to spark controversy. Hot, but short-lived gimmick. Next.

On paper, Cody Linley seems like a good pick. Too bad he'll have to pick out a new pair of pants in between every routine. His partner is Julianne Hough, after all, and he's only 18. You know how hormones are at that age. Next.

Olympian Misty May-Treanor will be in the running, but Maksim Chmerkovskiy may be rusty after taking last season off. That's a deal-breaker. Next.

Kim Kardashian? As much as we'd Kim to go all the way (stop smiling, Ray J), there's a huge obstacle in the way. We're talking about her ass! Next!

That leaves Lance Bass. For those of you who may have forgotten, his former group, *NSync, rode catchy songs, a fan base of insane 12-year-old girls and - that's right - sick dance moves to become the biggest band in the world.

This is Dancing with the Stars. He's a star and a dancer. Game over.

Who will win Dancing with the Stars? One of our columnists thinks Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer. Another's going with Cody Linley and Julianne Hough.

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Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente