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It wouldn’t be The Bachelor without thoughts from ESPN’s Sports Gal.

Well, sure it would, but it wouldn’t be quite as funny.

Here’s what she had to say about Monday’s premiere. Sounds like The Sports Gal liked it, and is a pretty big fan of Matt Grant… who wouldn’t be?

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The Bachelor started Monday night, and it was, as usual, a competitive first show because girls were doing everything to impress the bachelor -  including singing, arm wrestling and playing the clarinet.

It was like a beauty contest for crazy people.

They always have one black contestant who makes it two rounds before she gets voted off. [Bill Simmons, aka The Sports Guy] always compares her to Gonzaga because she’s an underdog who never makes the Final Four.

Anyhoo, this year’s bachelor is A HOT GUY FROM BRITAIN [take a bow, Matt Grant] and seems to really like this year’s black contestant, so maybe she will make the Final Four before Gonzaga does!

The other highlight from last night other than THE BACHELOR BEING REALLY HOT was a woman with fake lips who got tanked, fondled the bachelor’s knee and gave him her panties before passing out face-first on a bed.

I love this show.

Ladies, did I mention that THE BACHELOR IS SMOKING HOT????