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For his Orangina-induced attack on his wife, Scott Stapp could be facing jail time in the near future.

If that’s the case, the former Creed singer should take a lesson from Paris Hilton: Turn to God when a prison sentence is near. Oh, and wear sunglasses that are far too big for your face.

Seen here, the illegal driver and foe of Kim Kardashian is carrying all the essentials a spoiled heiress needs before heading off to the clink: the Bible, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment and a BlackBerry.

Carter Reum, Wife

We can only assume she’ll be using the latter to email good friend and complete loser Perez Hilton, as the pair review one another’s legal problems together.

As for the former items, The Hollywood Gossip staff has some advice for Hilton: Instead of wondering What Would Jesus Do, perhaps you should consider What Should I Do to Avoid Any Unwanted Girl on Girl Action in Jail?

For starters, you probably shouldn’t follow the lead of Mischa Barton and blatantly expose your boobs. We’ll leave the rest of this strategy up to you, Paris.