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It’s this guy’s lucky day.

Stopping by the Coked-Up Slut Store in suburban L.A., he thought he’d order a companion for the night. Little did he know they were offering a special 2-for-1 promotion until the end of January! Who knew?

Carter Reum, Wife

Yes, that’s Nicole Richie in the foreground, looking frighteningly thin as ever. Behind her is her friend Paris Hilton – the horrible hotel heiress who we’ve heard takes it from behind.

It turns out Lindsay Lohan was still inside the store, but as far as we know, you can’t negotiate a 3-for-1 deal. You can, however, download the Kim Kardashian sex tape for free.