They may not have millions of dollars, aspirations of rap stardom, a Malibu dream house filled with two boys (and counting), magazines banging down their door or paparazzi watching their every move, but they do have each other.
Yes, they may not be the real Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, but Jer Wayne Junior and Turleen — a.k.a. the Trailer Trash Dolls, created by Daniel Libby — spotlight the latest in hillbilly chic.
Turleen, a true class act, comes barefoot and pregnant with her hair in curlers and a cigarette in her mouth.
Squeeze her belly and she’ll tell you “Pour me a double. I’m drinking fer two” and “Bubba Jr. [i.e. Sutton Pierce], get off yer sister.”
Jer Wayne Junior sports all the redneck essentials like a mullet, missing teeth, NASCAR tattoo, cigarette, dirty tank top and a beer in hand. It’s almost like he’s ready to “Lose Control” of his bodily functions at any moment, no?
Press his chest and he’ll fart and whisper sweet nothings like “Fifteen of them beers and yer still ugly” and even “Honest, I’m not lying through my tooth.”
The dolls sell for $33, come in a patriotic red, white and blue window display box, and make wonderful gifts for your next holiday pig roast.
Rumor has it that little Sean Preston already has a set.