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In a completely unbelievable attempt to show the world everything’s fine with their marriage, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are planning to renew their wedding vows next month during a romantic ceremony in Hawaii.

“It’s all Brit’s idea. She’s convinced herself that their marriage is strong and wants to show she’s fallen in love with Kevin all over again,” a family friend dished. “So she wants to have a big, splashy ceremony with all their family and friends and the baby in attendance.”

Britney Spears Closes Out 2021

For the record, the two married on September 18, 2004. Less than two years ago. Who renews their vows after 22 months? Who marries a waste of space like K-Fed at all? Whatever. The two are determined to project an image of perfect harmony, and hoping to kill rumors that their marriage is on life support. Neither goal stands a chance in hell.

The singer, who is pregnant with her second child less than a year after giving birth to poor, innocent, destined-to-be-traumatized-for-life Sean Preston, has vowed to make the marriage work. She is determined, friends say, to reshape Kevin’s image from a bumbling slacker to a kind, decent family man.

Yeah. That’s happening.

With the notable exception of Pink, Everyone is taking shots at Britney these days. Enter ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake, who recently criticized her for being disloyal. The boy-band star, who split from Spears in 2002 and whose hit, “Cry Me a River,” was a thinly-veiled slap at her, is amazed at how quickly their relationship turned sour after the breakup.

“When we initially parted ways, I felt like she had a couple of opportunities to just sort of stick up for me, and she didn’t,” JT told GQ.