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Kourtney Kardashian was once curious what it would feel like to stick a pickle up one’s butt.

She also once clamored to shove a taco into a photographer’s rear end.

Kourtney’s obsession with the intertwining of food and rectums included, The First Family of Reality Television has uttered some rather outlandish things over the years.

Throughout nine-plus seasons of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (on camera and off), Kim has complained about pregnancy while bragging about shopping.

Khloe has expressed an odd fascination with nipples… Scott Disick has expressed an expected fascination with himself… and Kris Jenner has showered her children with love.

And by her children, we mean her diamonds.

Which member of this headline-generating family has uttered the most ridiculous quote? Easy: Kanye West. Kanye West quotes have received their very own photo gallery.

Put the rapper aside for now, however, and click through the above slideshow to marvel over actual words that have come out of the mouths of Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kris and Scott.