Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season Premiere Recap: Family First, Unless You're Bruce
Keeping Up With the Kardashians is back!
That's right, the most boring, scripted show on TV is SO back!
On the Season 7 premiere, Kim and her giant boobs gush about the importance of family, Kourtney reveals the gender of her second baby, Khloe and Kris clash over whether she should take a DNA test, and Bruce takes $h!t from everyone.
Basically all stuff we already knew or didn't care about. Anyway, here's our recap!
Kim Kardashian: "After going through a divorce this past year, it just taught me that family is the most important thing." Well, family and Kanye. Plus 10.
Khloe's in town, but no one bothers to tell Bruce dinner is ready, and he doesn't bother to come downstairs. Blame is shared equally there. Minus 15.
"What does a guy got to do to get a little respect around here?" he says. Not be surrounded by a bunch of money-grubbing reality stars? Minus 10.
OMG ... is Khloe a biological Kardashian? The DNA test drama resumes as Kris Jenner is consumed with the paternity rumors re: Khloe Kardashian.
"This story is not going away," Kris laments. Yeah, because you have Google alerts set up and are filmed talking about it for your show. Minus 30.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians Trailer: It's Kanye!
We told you Kanye West would appear on season seven of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
And now you can see for yourself.
In a new E! promo for the season premiere, which airs on Sunday, we get a glimpse of Kanye and Kim at dinner, along with Khloe talking about the rapper and making it seem like this relationship is nothing but a publicity stunt. But that would be crazy, right?
Elsewhere: Kim wears wigs; Kourtney cries; Kris recalls a past love; Lamar Odom considers his NBA career; Scott Disick yells; and THG almost loses our dinner. Watch the totally unscripted madness now:
Kim Kardashian Konfirms: Kanye West to Appear on Reality Show
I wouldn’t have another relationship shown on the show. That might be too personal.
So Kim Kardashian said to Cosmopolitan last month, but come on, people. She obviously didn't mean this to be the case if she were dating an iconic rapper. An exception simply has to be made for Kanye West for the sake of ratings true love.
Indeed, Kardashian confirmed to E! News yesterday that her new boyfriend would appear in a few Keeping Up with the Kardashian episodes this summer.
"I want to show my life," Kim explained, counting the dollar bills in her head, hilariously adding: "If we are having dinner and he does show up, I'm sure we're not going to go, 'Stop the cameras!'"
Well, no. Especially when producers told cameramen ahead of time that Kanye would be stopping by.
Still, Kardashian is yet to go into detail about her relationship and she insists she'll never get as personal as sister Khloe has on TV.
"I'm not going to be taking a bubble bath and drinking champagne or on a sex swing like Khloé and Lamar do. It's not going to be like that."
Of course not. We all know Kim Kardashian is VERY private when it comes to her sex life.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Promo Photos and Season 7 Synopsis!
Kim Kardashian has grown closer to her family than ever before. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are preparing for a new baby.
Khloe Kardashian is striving to spend time with her loved ones. Rob Kardashian is finding his way in business
Bruce and Kris Jenner are hitting a rough patch when the former reveals he feels taken for granted.
If these storylines - included in the official E! press release for season seven of Keeping Up with the Kardashians - don't grab your attention, good. There's hope for you yet. But if they DO somehow make you anxious to tune in for new episodes...
... well, those premiere on May 20.
Click through a series of promotional photos of the family now:
Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Renewed for THREE More Seasons!
Prepare to watch Kim Kardashian cry fake tears over at least a half dozen more divorces, E! viewers, as the network announced today that it has renewed Keeping Up with the Kardashians for three more seasons.
The new deal is worth $40 million for the family, and that figure does NOT include all the revenue Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and kompany will earn by simply Tweeting and pretending to be your pal on Facebook.
The contract also does NOT cover additional seasons of Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, Kourtney and Kim Take New York or Khloé & Lamar, along with any future spin-offs producers can conjure up (Kris Does Menopause? Kendall Studies For Her Learner's Permit?).
Keeping Up with the Kardashians premieres its next season on May 20, with the only real question remaining:
How much air time will be dedicated to Kim and Kanye West?
Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 7: Coming in May!
In a word, Khloe Kardashian? No.
This reality star has released the first promo for new episodes of her family's E! reality show - returning at a new time this May on Sunday nights! - and included the following question on her blog, along with the video: Can you believe it’s Season 7 already?!
No. We truly cannot.
Not a whole lot is revealed in the quick teaser, as producers likely are rushing to add in footage of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. But, don't worry, folks, Khloe promises plenty of sneak peeks to come before the premiere. Thank goodness!
Rita Ora to Meet the Kardashians, E! Viewers
Because it worked out so well for Kris Humphries, Rob Kardashian's new girlfriend is set to make her reality show debut in the near future.
Life & Style reports that Rita Ora - a British singer/model who started dating the former Dancing with the Stars contestant in late 2011 - will appear on at least one episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians next season.
The installment "will be about Rita coming to visit and meeting the family," an insider tells the tabloid.
Rob previously dated Adrienne Bailon for a couple of years, splitting in 2009. He hasn't been linked with anyone since and has actually remained mostly out of the spotlight, compared to his topless sisters, that is.
Let's face it, though: President Obama is scarcely in the spotlight compared to that trio.
[Photos: WENN.com]
Barack Obama on Keeping Up with the Kardashians Viewing: Really?!?
At home, like in the economic sector, Barack Obama would like to instill a few regulations for the common good. But he doesn't always succeed.
Case in point: Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
Even the most loyal Tea Party members might have trouble deciding: Who is worse for this country?
In a new interview with iVillage, Michelle Obama says she and her husband keep an eye on what daughters Sasha and Malia watch on television, but they can't control all programming choices.
"Barack really thinks some of the Kardashians - when they watch that stuff - he doesn't like that as much," the First Lady said, clearly trying to choose her words carefully. "But I sort of feel like... if they're learning the right lessons, like, that was crazy, then I'm like, okay."
In other words: the actions of Kim Kardashian and kompany are crazy! But, hey, even if Tea Party members want you to believe this isn't true with Obama in charge, it's a free country. Watch what you want.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season Finale Ratings: Huge, Depressing
Despite the holiday weekend, and despite the fact that the episodes focused on an event from months ago, the two-part season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians drew record ratings on Sunday and Monday nights.
Approximately 3.5 million viewers tuned each evening to watch Kris Humphries propose to Kim Kardashian... even thought WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT SHE SAID AND EVEN THOUGH EVERY MOMENT ON THIS PROGRAM IS 100% SCRIPTED. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, IT'S NOT REAL! KIM DOESN'T EVEN UPDATE HER OWN FACEBOOK OR SEND HER OWN TWEETS!
Sorry. Something must have happened to our keyboard there.
Anyway... a seventh season of this utter nonsense is all but guaranteed, though fans (who are you? Show yourselves!) need not wait until next summer to see Kim and Kris again: they are currently filming season two of Kourtney and Kim Take New York.
Kris Humphries Proposes to Kim Kardashian!!!
OMG, people. OMG!
On the two-part season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris Humphries first asked for the blessing of Bruce Jenner... and then he got down on one knee and proposed to Kim Kardashian! She said yes, but the episode concluded with Khloe quizzing Kris over his intentions.
Will he go through with the wedding? What a cliffhanger! Check out two clips from the finale now and sound off: Do you think Kris and Kim will get married in any kind of insulting, lavish, ridiculous ceremony that earns the couple more money than Kris makes in a year playing professional basketball?
