Kourtney & Kim Take Miami Recap: Underkover Kim, One-Eyed Lord D

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This week on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami featured something called a blood facial for Kim, but it wasn't as dirty as it probably sounds. 

Also, Scott ended up almost losing one of his balls … sort of.

Come along for THG's official +/- KKTM recap!

Kim on KKTM

Kim, or the producers who script her every move, have always loved "detective work." That's how she justifies her spying and meddling, anyway. Minus 50.

So you can imagine how excited she is when Larsa's friend Jake, an actual real P.I., comes to the city to work on a pro bono kidnapping case.

Kim Kardashian signs up to help, which is unrealistic in so many ways if they expect us to believe this is a real case, but that's reality TV for you. Minus 350.

Kim: "If I wasn't doing what I'm doing now, I would totally be a crime scene investigator." We were thinking more like porn star, but Plus 100 for aiming high.

Still, thanks to Kim's social networking skills, supposedly, they locate the missing girl's BF and help point officials in the right direction. So Plus 200.

Kourtney Kardashian No Makeup Photo

Meanwhile, Kourtney Kardashian is a bit concerned about her weight, which wasn't that big a deal until Scott Disick weighed in with his two cents.

Scott suggests that 93 pounds would be "the dream" weight for her. Minus only 50 because he thinks he's just kidding ... but thin ice, buddy.

Scott's problems don't end there. When he goes to the beach with Kourtney and Mason, he gets a bit of sand in his eye. We know. Dude has got it rough.

Scott: "I'm about to have to say goodbye to one of my eyeballs, can we go?" He's lost his other two balls a long time ago, so please, hurry up people. Minus 100.

Scott: "You've got a beautiful kneecap." Aww. So kind.

He actually does get a scratched cornea, which means he has to wear an eye patch ... which Kourt makes sure has an "LD" monogram, luckily.

Lord Disick, baby. Can't hold him down. Plus 300.

EPISODE TOTAL: +50! SEASON TOTAL: +493!

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I've recently watched Kim Kardashian Sex Tape!
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Kourtney & Kim Take Miami Recap: Underkover Kim, One-Eyed Lord D
Hh yeah baby! It made my day!
Good luck!

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Geez calm down Mrs. j. There are wars going on in the world and this gets you SO upset? Freakin' SAD.

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WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THESE WHORES. OH FUCK YOU TOO RYAN SEACREST FOR PUTTING THIS STUPID SHIT ON TV IN THE FRIST PLACE!!!!

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