Tale of the NFL Playoff Tape: New Orleans Saints vs. Detroit Lions

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On the heels of the NFL Divisional Playoffs, THG is previewing the quartet of matchups on tap this weekend. Already, our astute analysis has revealed:

Now, it's on to the Saturday night game between the New Orleans Saints and Detroit Lions. We know a lot of points will be scored. Let's compare the most important aspects of each time to find out more...

Lions vs. Saints

1. SETTING FOR
Saints: Treme
Lions: 8 Mile
Edge: Lions

2. FAMOUS FANS
Saints: Ellen DeGeneres
Lions: Kid Rock
Edge: Saints

3. FICTIONALLY KNOWN FOR...
Saints: Marching In
Lions: Lacking heart
Edge: Tie

4. ABILITY TO LIFT A CITY'S SPIRITS FOLLOWING A NATURAL DISASTER
Saints: High
Lions: N/A
Edge: Saints

5. HISTORY WITH KIM KARDASHIAN
Saints: Employed Reggie Bush when he dated her
Lions: None
Edge: Lions

6. RUSHING YARDS PER GAME
Saints: 132.9 (6th in NFL)
Lions: 95.2 (29th in NFL)
Edge: Lions

7. BIGGEST FANTASY FOOTBALL STUD
Saints: Drew Brees
Lions: Calvin Johnson
Edge: Tie

8. THE BIRTHPLACE OF...
Saints: Jazz
Lions: The American automotive industry
Edge: Saints

9. EMBARRASSING PLAYOFF FACT
Saints: Lost to a team with an effin losing record last year
Lions: No one on the roster was alive when they last made them
Edge: Lions, barely

10. EMBLEM ON HELMET
Saints: Fleur-De-Lis
Lions: A lion
Edge: Saints

THE VERDICT: It's a tie! The final tally is 4-4-2. Granted, ties are not permitted in a NFL playoff game, but there's no arguing with these results. Following a season in which three quarterbacks - two in this game alone - threw for over 5,000 yards, anything is possible, right?

WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?

 

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