Randy Quaid Wants to Tour With Charlie Sheen

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Randy Quaid says it would be a "hoot" to tour with Charlie Sheen. Not sure that will ever happen, but it would indeed be a hoot, among other things.

Quaid floated this screwball proposition to Canada's Globe and Mail this week. "It's apropos to his situation, and apropos to my situation," he said.

Whatever you say, Randy. Whatever you say.

What a Nut Job

OPENING ACT? This would be the one way to make Sheen's tour crazier.

Quaid, who co-starred with Charlie in Major League II, No Man's Land and The Wraith, wouldn't be able to do U.S. shows, of course. Just Canada.

Randy and his insane wife Evi are living in Vancouver, having sought refugee status there in 2010. This was after they went completely off the rails.

Still, Randy tells E! he'd tour with Sheen in a second, and he'd open with the Johnny Cash song, "Will We Be Together Then," followed by "Star Whackers."

On the latter, penned by Quaid, Sheen would join him on backing vocals: "That'd be great: Have Charlie come out [and sing], 'I'm talking about Whackers!'"

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, there are only so many torpedoes of truth to go around. While Charlie has had special guests, his rep says:

"We're not having any opening acts. The tour is proceeding wonderfully; there are no plans to have an opening act or have Randy participating."

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Can we just rename Charlie Sheen's shows and call them "Welcome to my mid life crisis"?