Spencer Pratt is always plotting something, but the former star of The Hills says his impending divorce from co-star wife Heidi Montag is not made-for-TV.
Despite the fact that nobody has seen divorce papers and family and Hills co-stars are skeptical, Pratt tells People that the plastic pair have drifted apart:
"We love each other but I'm a fame whore and I'll never grow out of it. [Heidi] knows that and doesn't want that. She wants to hike, hang out and be calmer."
Calmer? Isn't she pitching her own show?
"I want every kind of press. She believes in bad press. There's absolutely no way my love for fame and her love for puppies will ever work out successfully."
Sad, but true.
TICK TOCK: Are Spencer's 15 minutes finally up?
Pratt, who with Heidi became known as Speidi, says his estranged wife "doesn’t want to be Speidi anymore. She wants to be Heidi Montag: the sex symbol."
"She thought I'd burn out, but I'm still Spencer who went on The Hills to be famous. I still need to do stunts and take cues from Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise."
Spencer Pratt, who mentions he and his ex are "friendly," says Speidi trouble is nothing new. "It's been a constant battle since we got married," he says.
"She would be like, 'Are you really Tweeting that? Are you really doing that?'"
As for the next step, Pratt says he decided to grow a beard (which he debuted in last week's failed party-crashing bid) and turn to art: "I'm switching it up."
"I've already gone for the blonde, spiky-haired look. Now I'm going for the Hollywood producer look. I'm an artist now. I have an easel and everything."
"I'm going for an art show and a gallery."
We hear the show's scheduled for 14:58 ...