Breaking News: Angelina Jolie Steals Brad Pitt From Jennifer Aniston!

by at . Comments

It's apparently Turn Back the Clock week over at Us Magazine.

We realize that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's divorce was seen, and is still noted to be, one of the most scandalous, shocking celebrity breakups in recent history.

But we'll let you in on a tip, Us: They split in January 2005.

Pitt's affair and subsequent partnership with Angelina Jolie continue to fascinate for obvious reasons, but really guys? We're revisiting his original split with Jen?

At least Star can think up new Brangelina breakups, secret Brennifer hookups, Angie mind games and Jen loneliness in a bid to keep the love triangle current.

This, however, is basically a five-year-old cover story ...

How She Stole Him!

Finally, the truth! Knock us over with a feather!

Yes, we realize the publication cites a new tell-all book about the celebrities and some supposedly new revelations as its reason for dredging this back up again.

What would a new tell-all possibly have to offer, though, and how would we assume any part of it is actually true? Is there no other celebrity gossip out there?

Come on, Us. Jen's dating a new guy now, and he's still married to his ex-wife! Surely there's an adultery / love child story you can fabricate from that, right?

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Jenifer Aniston is homewrecker too who stole Justin from Bivens. Shame on you Jen fans

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In 2000, Angelina Jolie faced her first charges of homewrecking when she stole Billy Bob Thornton away from then-partner Laura Dern. Billy Bob and Angelina met on the set of Pushing Tin and the two were married quickly in May of 2000. Both were incredibly open with their relationship, making out like teenagers in front of the paparazzi and wearing vials of each other's blood around their neck. The entertainment media ate it up and it really developed Angelina into a tabloid icon. Three years later, Billy Bob and Angelina were divorced suddenly and both moved on. No word on if they returned each other's blood.

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Seriously guys stop with the hating comments, they are both pretty, Angie and Jen, thats just life

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Brad and Jen married spend 1 million. Now broke Waiste money
I like Brad and Jolie now. No need to marry and no need to divorce. he he he

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Brad love Jen. Why he left Jen? Hey, move on stuppid bitches

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Yeah, Jen so pretty with lot of help of Berverly cosmetic surgeons. No more ugly but fake and plastic

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WHO CARE! IT'S BEEN MORE THAN 5 YEARS. THEY GOT MANY KIDS. MOVE ON JEALOUS BITTER BITCHES

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Brad is hot and Jen is soooooooo pretty Angie is just so totally ugly and doesnt deserve some one like brad xx
Brad loves Jen and Jen loves brad xx

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NO WONDER JEN MOM ALWAYS SAID THAT SHE SO UGLY LIKE HER FATHER. HEY, HATERS. YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT. MOVE ON. YOUR JEN IS 100% UGLY . HER MOM AGREE ABOUT THAT.SHE HAS NO CHOICE AND YOU TOO

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Brad is handsome. Jen is ugly fat face. Not match. It's look like un-even chopstick.