The Tiger Woods scandal keeps leading to more shocking reports, such as this new one about Tiger's kinky sex life with - and dreams about - Rachel Uchitel.
Uchitel was the first woman named as a Tiger Woods mistress (he also saw Jaimee Grubbs nude 20 times and was linked to Kalika Moquin) late last week.
Rachel told pals she did drugs with the golf star before sex. Specifically, Uchitel told her friends that she and Tiger liked to get their freak on while taking Ambien.
"You have crazier sex on Ambien - you get that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex,'" a pal quoted her as saying regarding the insomnia medication.
Some people claim it enhances sexual experiences immediately after ingesting it, and apparently, Uchitel told friends that "Tiger Woods loves Ambien sex!"
Those "friends" then blabbed to the press. Trustworthy folk.
Rachel Uchitel needs some new friends. Good luck with that.
One of the reasons why Tiger loves the pills? The erotic dreams. According to a friend of Rachel Uchitel, Tiger dreamed of his mistress ... in a menage a trois!
The other two participants: Yankees star Derek Jeter and Bones actor David Boreanaz.
Uchitel reportedly boned Boreanaz, who is married, and was linked to Jeter in the past. She got a sexy email from Woods in which he referenced the flings.
Woods' email said, according to Rachel's so-called friend (via Us Weekly): "I had a dream that we were married and I was leading the tournament."
Then, "I came home, excited to see you, and there you were getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Part of me thinks you would like that."
Naturally, this imagery took its toll on Tiger: "Now I can't get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is wide awake ... need an Ambien."
Tiger Woods was apparently into kinky stuff. Stuff that has nothing to do with this random picture of him with a razor. Well, probably. Who knows with him!
So this is what Tiger Woods' life has come to. A week ago, he was probably the world's most recognizable, successful athlete, and had a stellar reputation.
Now magazines and celebrity gossip sites are talking about crazy Ambien sex and dreams he allegedly had about David Boreanaz nailing his mistress.
Just making sure everyone's clear on this.
If Nike ever cuts ties with Tiger, maybe he can secure an endorsement deal with Ambien. Think of the pitch he could give after his many experiences:
Hi. I'm Tiger Woods, winner of 14 major golf titles. Rest and relaxation are crucial to my success. When I need to get a good night's sleep, or have crazy sex with my mistress, or have lucid dreams about said mistress getting tag-teamed by a World Series champion and a fairly well-known actor, there's only one drug I turn to...
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17 Comments
December 24th, 2009 11:01 AM
to those who scolded him, were you all perfect and innocent? were you not one of those- the sex free, free speech, everyone is equal,equal right, and bla bla s's''s society member? so what . he didnot take anything from you....
December 9th, 2009 5:19 AM
AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Great Ambien ad! Funny article...Still LOL @ Random pic of Tiger with a razor...
December 8th, 2009 2:41 PM
No surprise here. He led a sheltered life. Then got engaged and married young. He was advance in his golfing skills but a bit immature. At 33 he was more like a 24 year old. Hot women coming on to him all the time. To quote a great comedian" You are only as fateful as your options"!!!!!
December 7th, 2009 9:00 AM
the random photo with tiger and the razor is taken from a series of Gillete mach4 advertisements he did in n.z and australia. Love it. The gillete series also had Federer (forgotten tennis star) and Thierry Henry - The cheat in the world cup qualifier against Ireland a few weeks back! Good stuff Gillete! (Lost in translation style advertising I'm assuming).
December 7th, 2009 3:04 AM
Amateur psychologist: This guy wasn't just a "cheater". Seems like he really hated his wholesome image & was determined to get it smashed with a 3 iron!
December 6th, 2009 3:06 PM
This was funny stuff. The endorsement deal with Ambien is hysterical. Thanks for the laugh.
On the more serious side, he should have stayed single. I've lost respect for the man.
December 5th, 2009 7:28 PM
I couldn't be more disappointed in Tiger Woods! He was the one
celebrity that I thought would keep a good reputation. Yes, we
should have NO expectations about ANYONE. He was the last on my
list and that takes care of that. I hope he is embarrassed to
bits for a long time to come. What an idiot. Oh, wait. It occurs
to me that he may be a sex addict! Just like our former president,
Clinton. Sex addiction does cause people to do stupid, dangerous,
embarrassing things just as they would on alcohol or drugs. Yep,
that's probably it. Well, in that case I hope he checks into a
recovery facility and gets it together. Maybe he can be the poster
boy for SEX ADDICTION. Yep, you go Tiger.
December 5th, 2009 5:31 PM
If I was his wife I would divorce his pathetic, lying cheating ass in a heartbeat. How could she ever trust him again? He was cheating on her when she was pregnant with his children, so he was exposing her to STDs and AIDS--it doesn't get much lower than that. The only reason he is sorry is because he got caught. You heard the phone conversation to that Grubbs woman "can you change your name on your phone?" still trying to cover up and lie to his wife. Elin doesn't owe him anything! And to those who think his cheating is no big deal, then why didn't Tiger tell his wife that he was sleeping with at least 4 other women? IT IS A BIG DEAL!! HE IS A MARRIED MAN!!! I hope Elin beat the crap out of him!!
December 5th, 2009 5:06 PM
That's right. Celebrity marraiges are sham anyway. If he wants to bone multiple skanky sttention-seekers who couldn't care at all about the feelings of his family, let the loser have his fun!
December 5th, 2009 4:15 PM
Wow. Now I like Tiger even more! He seems like a lot more fun. Ditch the dour looking wife, take excellent care of your kids, and have fun! All of those women looked like alot more fun. In all the unstaged photos with his wife he looked bored and unhappy!
Party girls are delightful! Just go rip it on the course and do your thang; otherwise you may wake up one day and Elin will look like her mother!