Rachel Uchitel is either a serial liar or a serial mistress.
In October, she claimed to be having an affair with Bones star David Boreanaz. The celebrity gossip world reported on the story and then shrugged.
No offense to Boreanaz, but he doesn't get our juice flowing.
If Uchitel's latest story is true, however, she'll receive the proper attention she clearly craves. The National Enquirer reports that Uchitel has been sleeping with Tiger Woods.
Forget the iconic Tiger Woods fist pump, Rachel Uchitel says the golfer has been pumping her full of his nine-inch iron.
A friend of Rachel's supposedly told the unreliable magazine:
"Rachel told me, ‘I’m having an affair with Tiger Woods. We’re in love!’ She even read me text messages Tiger sent her that said ‘I love you, babe.'"
"'It’s always going to be just you and me.' They were constantly sexting."
Tiger's lawyer denies the charges levied by the tabloid, but does actually tell the Enquirer's print edition that his client met Rachel Uchitel at a club.
That admission does cause us to wonder if there's any truth to this. But one look at Elin Nordegren pictures and it's hard to see Woods sticking his driver in someone else's hole.
If you know what we mean!
UPDATE: In unrelated and actually true news, Tiger is in "serious" condition after being involved in a single car crash near his home in Florida early this morning.
The crash occurred at 2:20 a.m. near his home, and he was taken to Health Central Hospital with facial lacerations. Woods struck a fire hydrant and then a tree on a neighbor's property. Police say alcohol was not a factor.
According to ESPN, the police report reads, "driver had just pulled out of the driveway at his residence ... as [vehicle] began to drive on Deacon Circle, [vehicle] struck a fire hydrant. The front of [vehicle] then struck a tree."
He was driving a 2009 Cadillac SUV. Here's wishing Woods a speedy recovery.
UPDATE, 12/1: Rachel Uchitel has denied the affair with Tiger Woods numerous times, although it appears Woods' crash may have stemmed from an argument he had with Nordegren regarding the rumor. Check out our Tiger and Rachel news sections (links right below the headline above) for all the latest on this developing story!
UPDATE, 12/7: Tiger reportedly paid Rachel a very generous settlement to keep quiet about their affair. Supposedly she had some really good dirt on the guy.
UPDATE, 12/13: Boy, this story really took on a life of its own. Not only did Rachel finally admit her affair with Tiger, but at least eight other women have too.
UPDATE, 12/22: There are rumors the two are still in communication!
We've got the latest on all the mistresses - and Rachel and Tiger, of course - in our news sections. Check back often for the latest on this shocking sex scandal!