Which American Idol star is most precious? Blake Lewis or Jordin Sparks?

According to a certain judge on the show, it's neither. Guess which critic believes she ought to be the center of all attention.

Indeed, train-wreck-tastic Paula Abdul went on a self-important diatribe during an episode of her reality show, Hey Paula. The crazy one ranted: "I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am."

In the premiere, set to air June 28, Simon Cowell's favorite target appears addled after the 2007 Grammy Awards. She stumbles on the street and giggles in the back of her limo ("I crack myself up!") before her mood darkens and she berates two assistants for not bringing her sweat pants to change into for a flight.

The encounter makes Paris Hilton look unspoiled. Well, sort of. But it does reveal a needy celebrity who, in the lap of pampering, constantly believes herself to be mistreated by those around her.

"The way I've been treated is [like] a piece of dog sâ€"," Abudl complains in another typical outburst that insults canine feces everywhere.

All in all, it's obviously fantastic television. The singer makes Coley Laffoon look sane by comparison.