This is not a joke or a prank.
We swear this is real.
Valeria Lukyanova, the troubled model who has undergone endless amounts of plastic surgery to become known as Human Barbie, is apparently sick of posing in skimpy outfits and... well... that's about all she's done for years now.
The Ukrainian doll doppelgänger is therefore embarking on a new career as a singer, releasing a track called “Jack Your Barbie” that, once again, actually does exist. This is a real single.
Lukyanova teamed up with Ukrainian DJ Sender for the EDM song, which she released via SoundCloud a few days ago.
"True house music fans should know that 'In the beginning there was Jack and Jack had a groove,'" she told Billboard, quoting Chuck Roberts' words from the 1987 track "My House" by Rhythm Control.
"I want your Barbies to jack."
Well... okay then!
We've shared the new song below, but consider yourselves warned: the same way you can never unsee these Valeria Lukyanova photos, you can never unhear these words and this beat.
Lukyanova is apparently working on multiple original songs with Sender, some of which will feature her singing in "ancient forgotten languages...meant to induce a meditative state in the listener," according to a press release.
It adds that performances will be created to increase "the rhythm and [change] the consciousness of the audience."
We don't really know what that means.
"When I'm singing, it's like a deep trance for me. Music will help people relax and make a journey into their hidden places inside," she also told Billboard.
"I hope it feels for them like something familiar but forgotten. You need to close your eyes and go deep within, like nothing exists but you and the music."
For the final time, a reminder: this is meant to be a real song...