In the newest episode for Kocktails With Khloe, host Khloe Kardashian really should’ve passed out rain coats to her guests.
Why, you ask? Because on the show, Tori Spelling just announced that when she gets drunk, she PEES all over the damn place.
Now, that just took the piss out of my day. Or rather, put it in.
While playing a round of "Truth or Dare," Tori picks truth and Khloe asks, "Where is the strangest place you’ve ever peed?"
And do you think the Beverly Hills 90210 alum would give a run-of-the-mill answer like "Oh, behind a bush once"?
No way. The blonde, who we recently learned is flat broke, unleashes a tsunami of pissing truths we probably would’ve been just fine never knowing about.
She reveals that she has a drunk alter-ego called "Terri," who it turns out is positively Terri-ble.
"When Terri comes to visit, she is cray-cray, and one of her things is, she likes to pee, and she pees, like, anywhere. Like, she will piss under the table… she will pee in a potted plant," she confesses to a room of horrified guests.
Given that the premise of the talk show is, you know, getting drunk, you can see everyone tense up in anticipation of an unwanted golden shower from Tori/Terri.
"Terri is super fun!" says Tori.
UHHH, she doesn’t sound super fun to me. She sounds super smelly.
But it turns out Terri is also super considerate.
"If we were having the most amazing conversation, I would literally drink this glass, and rather sit here and piss in it so we can continue our conversation than get up and leave you," she tells Khloe.
We predict Tori will see a marked decline in party invites this year.
We also imagine Tori’s new landlord is just thrilled to hear this news. Tori and her husband Dean McDermott just rented a $7,500 a month shack in Encino, which may or may not now be saturated in urine.