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Poor Kevin McCallister.

The precious little boy with whom fans fell in love in Home Alone (and Home Alone 2, we guess) is back in a new online web series called ":DRYVR."

He’s once again portrayed by Macaulay Culkin, whose answer to the question of Where are Members of The Home Alone Cast Now? is both hilarious and unexpected.

In the first episode of the aforementioned series, we learn that McCallister is now the deranged driver of an on-demand car service… and he still hasn’t gotten over the trauma of being left behind by his family during Christmas many years ago.

"How about this, it’s Christmas time. It’s f—king Christmas and your whole family goes on vacation and they forget their 8-ear-old f—king sonm," Kevin goes off to a passenger he has picked up.

"All by yourself, for a week.

"I had to fend off my house from two psychopath home invaders. I was just a kid, I still have nightmares about this bald weirdo dude chasing me around!"

Culkin’s character is clearly (and hilariously) suffering from some from of PTSD here, as he takes it to the extreme when someone tries to carjack him.

"They remembered my bastard of a brother, but forget me, the cutest f—king 8-year-old in the universe," he adds, referencing that stupid face Buzz.

HA! We love it!

See Culkin become our new hero below: