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Big news, everyone! Courtney Stodden has a new single coming out on Friday!

Actually, sorry – that’s not the exciting part. 

In fact, the only reason we’re even talking about Courtney’s long-awaited-by-nobody return to the world of music is that she keeps  taking her clothes off to promote it.

Last week, Courtney got naked and wrote "ASPHALT" all over her body.

Don’t worry, she hasn’t completely lost her mind; "Asphalt" is the name of the song.

Yes, as far as we know, Courtney’s not crazy, just desperate and maybe not all that bright, as evidenced by the video below, in which she balances a sizzling platter of fajitas on her naked ass.

Don’t get us wrong – in some respects, Courtney is a genius.

She’s managed to stay somewhat relevant for five years now, despite the fact that she’s a singer who hasn’t released any new music since 2012, as well as an "actress" who’s never appeared in appeared in a major film or television production (not counting reality shows).

All we’re saying is, anyone who’s ever touched a steaming plate at Chili’s despite the waitress’ stern warnings knows that that’s not something you want near your genitals and b-hole.

We’re sure Court was trained by professionals or something. Anyway, don’t try this at home: