On 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 4, Episode 7, it was time for some twists.
These abrupt changes in plan happen at different times during the couples’ journeys. For some, after they’ve married.
Who has to make an unplanned trip back home? Who has a secret to tell?
And who has a jaw-dropping confession … a secret that they kept because, had their partner known, they’d never have come all this way?
Check out our S04E07 recap below:
Jen Boecher and Rishi Singh
Their segment begins with a flashback to a conversation that took place after her “wife training” experience on Episode 6. At this point, Jen was grateful for the cultural experience … but told Rishi that she’s not up for living as part of a “blended family.” At the time, they put a pin in that topic.
Rishi wants to reassure Jen
Wearing a very interesting hair-cover, Rishi talks to Jen about what she wants. But she also asked if her inability to do a “blended family” living situation is a deal-breaker for him. After all, she has uprooted her entire life to be with him.
“I can do for you”
Rishi notes that it would be a tough pill for his family to swallow, but said that it’s not a dealbreaker. Jen also asks if Rishi is going to fight for their love, if push comes to shove. That’s a complex question, but Rishi reassures her that he will stand his ground.
Later, Jen meets with an immigration attorney in India
This scene is painful for Jen. It’s also a little bit funny, even though we’re sad for her (and I personally like Jen). She has an idea that maybe she’ll briefly leave India during her 4-month visa and then return, because she is supposed to leave after 30 days. But the visa doesn’t mean 4 months total, the lawyer explains. She can only enter India once on the visa, and must reapply. To the camera, the attorney calls her a “crazy American” for not reading the fine print of her visa and for not knowing her eventual wedding date. (That second one is pretty normal for engaged Americans)
To Jen, this is a major setback
She is tearful on the ride home. Remember, this is far from their first setback. This is a two-year engagement and now she has to leave again and reapply for a visa. How, she wonders, could something be “meant to be” if it’s this difficult?
So Jen has to deliver the bad news to Rishi
Standing beside some outdoor merchants who appear to be standing in holes (yeah, I did a double-take), she tells Rishi that her visa wasn’t quite what she thought that it was. Absolute nightmare situation, and the sum of all fears for those of us who have repeatedly reread rental leases or airline tickets.
For Rishi, this is heartbreaking
He tears up, even standing out on the street, at the thought of Jen leaving again. She’s coming back, but she will have to reapply for the visa. This delay is not what they wanted. He tries to put a positive spin on this, but it’s painful.
Debbie Aguero and Oussama
Now that Debbie and her 24-year-old love are reunited, the two are taking a trip to Rabat. They plan to enjoy some time there before moving to his much more rural home.
At this point, Debbie is just taking it all in
She points out cows by the side of the road and she waxes poetic about her new life with Oussama. But what, exactly, does he expect from her going forward?
Gender roles strike again
We wouldn’t say that Oussama is one of those guys who doesn’t want a partner and instead wants a live-in servant (there are those guys on this show, but Oussama is too out there for that). But he does expect Debbie to become “half-Moroccan” and do his laundry and prepare his food. Debbie takes this pretty well, and immediately looks for compromise — noting that they can get takeout sometimes and just relax with some wine.
Well, not with wine, actually
It’s not just that he wants her to live with him at his parents’ home for months — on a farm, no less. He also explains that, religiously, he doesn’t want any alcohol at home. So, if she wanted to drink a glass of wine, they would need to go out somewhere to drink it.
“This was never a part of the plan”
Speaking to the camera, Debbie admits that he has dropped a couple of bombshells on her. Honestly? He has barely begun.
Meanwhile, at the riad
Riads are traditional Moroccan homes that have central courtyards and multiple stories. It’s in an older, historic neighborhood. Debbie is totally enamored with the place, as she considers it to be part of her adventure. She and Oussama have to rent separate rooms, because they are not married, but Debbie says that that’s fine. (So far, they have appeared … very chaste)
Debbie does want to make one thing clear
Ahead of her “romantic” dinner with Oussama, she dons her lion necklace and discusses her concern. She doesn’t want to spend that much time living with his family. There are so many reasons for that, not the least of which being that she is 67 years old. It is fairly normal, even in America, for a 24-year-old to live with their parents. The idea of someone pushing 70 to live with their in-laws is a bit of a stretch. Especially if she is, as many viewers suspect, older than Oussama’s parents. So Debbie doesn’t want to “live with Mom and Dad for an indefinite period of time.”
Debbie tries to bring this up with Oussama
He promises her that his parents won’t mind her living with them, which is … not the point. Debbie wants to feel comfortable in her own home, and Oussama is taking her polite expressions literally and acting like the only problem would be his parents’ feelings, and they’re fine with it. This … has come up on the show before. Just because YOU like living with your parents doesn’t mean that your international girlfriend does.
Wait, what?
Oussama then goes into further detail, noting that he and Debbie can live there for a month or two. And then, instead of noting how they’ll look for an apartment in another area, he suggests that Debbie will return to America. Um, that is news to her. She just packed up her whole life to be with him.
“You want me to go back to the States?”
Oussama very patronizingly tells her that “this is a decision of life,” and suggests that the two of them need to spend months in “reality” before marrying. Sure … but that’s not the attitude that he has portrayed in the past.
Privately, Debbie feels outright disgust
This, she tells the confessional camera while still fuming over the conversation, is not the Oussama she knows. Upon her last visit to Morocco, he was downright eager to marry her. Now, he’s pumping the brakes. We would agree that he’s showing a little common sense … but where was that sensible caution last time?
And also, why didn’t Oussama share this plan before?
Ah, the classic red flag answer — if he’d told his partner the truth, she might not have come. That is never a good answer or a good motive. Debbie is furious, and she has every right to be.
Gabriel Paboga and Isabel Posada
During a previous trip to Colombia, Gabriel made friends with Trey. They’re buddies now, but at first, it was just bonding over the fact that they both speak English. The two meet up to play basketball while Gabe goes into his plans to propose to Isabel. Interestingly, Trey thinks that Gabe is moving too quickly and being a little too impulsive.
Oh, by the way, Gabe’s trans
Gabriel awkwardly comes out to Trey mid-conversation. He’s not sleeping with Trey or marrying Trey’s relative, so it hasn’t really come up before. But he’s planning on coming out to Isabel’s parents before asking for their blessing to marry Isabel. Trey is totally surprised that Gabe is trans (he hadn’t clocked him at all), and wonders if Gabe needs to rush coming out to Isabel’s parents.
Later, Gabriel and Isabel go out to dinner
They’re meeting friends — Gabe’s friend, Trey, and Isabel’s friend, Mateo. Interestingly, Isabel does not like Trey.
And he asks her why
When Trey asks Isabel exactly why she doesn’t like him, she answers that he’s a bad influence on Gabe. It sounds like he’s a bit of a womanizer (at least, that’s her perception), and he likely reminds her of some of her toxic exes. Whether that’s a fair comparison is unclear.
Some news breaks the tension, however
Trey and Gabe note that Trey now knows that he’s trans. It’s hard to articulate exactly why this moment was so funny, but it turned lighthearted very quickly.
But they do have serious matters to discuss
Isabel is nervous about how her father, in particular, will respond to Gabriel coming out as trans. There is a list of potential reasons that he might reject Gabe for that reason, and they’re both really anxious about it.
Only one member of the family is at ease about it
Isabel’s son, who seems to be the only one who doesn’t know that Gabriel is trans (the two are buddies but it doesn’t really come up organically in conversation that often), is just looking forward to seeing his grandparents.
Gabriel receives a warm welcome
That said, this is one of those weird households where even grown adults who live together have to sleep in separate rooms if they’re not married. Gabe and Isabel are chill about it, which … is their choice.
Gabriel is very relatable sometimes
Anyone who has ever gone to a buddy’s house for a sleepover and found out that their family does the pray-before-they-eat-thing knows that it can be super awkward. Even if you don’t have conflicting beliefs, there’s a rhythm to this kind of religious ritual and you don’t automatically know it. For Gabriel, it’s also a reminder of how devout they are. Conservative Christians have made up the bulk of the transphobic hatred that Gabe has received on social media, so he is on edge. He knows that it doesn’t automatically make them bigots, but the association is there. The fear.
Isabel’s parents really like Gabriel
They ask if she’s happy, if he respects her. She is and he does. To them, this puts him well beyond Isabel’s toxic exes. And their grandkids both adore him, which doesn’t hurt. So far, her parents are leaving a pretty good impression with viewers (even if some of us wouldn’t stay the night at their house). But viewers, and Gabe, are just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Not in this episode
But we’ll keep our fingers crossed. It looks like Gabriel comes out on next week’s episode.
Kris Foster and Jeymi Noguera
Elsewhere in Colombia, Jeymi brings Kris some water. If you’ve ever cared for someone whose chronic pain is having a flare-up, you know how helpless you can feel. You can offer to bring them whatever, but you can’t fix the problem even though you want to. And if you know what it’s like to be in Kris’ predicament, you know how miserable she is in this moment. And she’s about to miss meeting Jeymi’s friends.
Jeymi meets up with Alex and Leo
Kris can’t come meet them, so Jeymi explains her chronic pain and the extreme misfortune that led to it. The flight, it seems, has made it worse. It’s been hard, Jeymi tells them, to watch Kris lose that vibrant energy in the space of just a few days. She knows that it’s coming back, but she loves Kris and hates to see her suffer.
And then there’s bad news about the wedding date
Alex and Leo, who will be doing Kris’ makeup for the wedding, express shock when they learn that Kris will have to return to Alabama shortly. Probably. The thing is, she needs to testify about her stolen motorcycle. It looks like (this info wasn’t in the episode) the motorcycle theft spun into something much larger involving other crimes long after the thief parted with it. Regardless, Kris may have no choice but to testify … requiring her to leave Jeymi just days after arriving, and forcing them to change their wedding date.
Alex and Leo see red flags
They worry that Kris, who previously ghosted Jeymi, is using this as an excuse — or making up a bonus story — to go home. Obviously, they haven’t met Kris, and it’s natural for them to feel protective of their friend.
Jeymi doesn’t want to give up on their relationship
She loves Kris, but she does have real fears that Kris might ghost her again. Only time will tell how real those fears will be.
Nicole Sherbiny and Mahmoud Elsherbiny
We once again find Mahmoud acknowledging that he has upset his wife and sad that she feels upset. But … is he going to change his actual behavior in the future? Remember, this time wasn’t just him pitching a fit about sleeve length. He told Nicole that they shouldn’t be together.
“It’s just words, I didn’t mean it”
That is not a great line, and it’s not reassuring about their relationship. But none of this is. Nicole is already dealing with a lot, and she hates arguing in front of his mom. Instead of packing her things and heading home to the US (where she would likely have to stay with her family, who have all of her belongings), she heads out with him to meet with his uncle.
Mahmoud’s uncle and his family are very welcoming
You know how Mahmoud works in a fabric store? His uncle has a factory that makes clothing. So this family visit is also an informal business meeting.
Mahmoud has to translate
Nicole has designed modest clothes out of frustration with the limited options for modest clothing in the US. Nicole’s solution often involves layers and more or less dressing like an aristocratic vampire, but she would love more outfits.
Her designs are good!
The idea, Mahmoud’s family notes, is also a good one. There’s a long series of steps between “good concept!” and a flourishing business, but it’s not a bad idea at all.
Speaking of modest clothing …
Mahmoud’s uncle asks why she is not wearing a hijab. Nicole wants to avoid being rude — because the answer would simply be that it is none of his, or anyone’s, business what she wears. So she says nothing.
Mahmoud’s uncle says that it falls to Mahmoud
As countless Muslims have explained, wearing a hijab or other covering is a personal decision except in places where local laws mandate it. But Mahmoud’s uncle seems to see it as inevitable, and as a religious mandate. He’s still not pushing for her to wear it immediately as a convert, but he essentially wants Mahmoud to manipulate-mansplain-malewife Nicole into wearing a hijab in the future.
This is all so awkward for Nicole
Right now, she’s pissed as hell with Mahmoud. She doesn’t really want to be here. And the entire room is speaking about her, and she can only understand some of the words. It’s not an enviable situation. But viewers are struggling to understand why she’s putting herself through this.