Patrick Mendes Learns that Thais' Dad Hates Him on 90 Day Fiance (Recap)

Patrick Mendes and Thais Ramone

The time has come at last for Thais, with just weeks before the K-1 visa deadline, to tell her dad that she and Patrick plan to marry. Patrick has made this mandatory, while Thais had planned to tell her dad the news only after the wedding. Why? Because her dad doesn’t like Patrick, and she doesn’t want Patrick to know.

At first, it’s a normal call

They just touch base with Thais’ dad over video chat. Hilariously, the one piece of beautiful decor in the house is on display. Was it production’s idea to have the turquoise glass vase on display there, or theirs?

There’s one drawback to life in America

To be fair, it does get “cold” in Texas — infamously, there are ice storms that the state’s isolated power grid cannot handle. Thais likes to wear comfy, flowy clothing and is not enjoying the temperatures. Wait … how warm do they keep that house? Maybe Patrick and John look so flushed all of the time because it’s too hot? Something to consider.

Surprise!

Patrick and Thais tell her dad that they’re getting married — not just eventually, but later that month.

He can barely contain his joy

Thais’ dad takes a few moments to process this before saying “already?” which is really more of a comment than a question.

Thais tries to sell it to her dad

Speaking one-on-one with him (while Patrick waits in the garage), she says that marrying Patrick sooner rather than later will mean that she has her documents to travel to come see him — if her dad won’t approve of the wedding, he can at least support the practical side. Right?

Ugh

This guy thinks that Thais’ whole life is his business whether Thais likes it or not.

Patrick is an anxious mess, of course

He even texts his brother, John, to come see him and keep him company while he agonizes over this.

Thais’ dad doesn’t like Patrick

Based upon everything that both he and Thais have said, this isn’t about anything that Patrick has said or done — he just thinks that American men cannot be trusted with Brazilian women.

Why?

His reasons are apparently rooted in watching worst-case-scenario news stories. This is a familiar phenomenon in the US, too, when someone constantly consumes true crime and news reports and it just sort of rots their brains.

Thais comes to get Patrick

It has the vibe of being summoned to the courtroom to hear the jury’s verdict.

Welp

Thais has been avoiding telling Patrick this for the longest time, but … her dad does not want them to get married. It’s not just that he’s not giving his “blessing.” He actively wants Thais to return to Brazil ASAP.

That’s hard to hear

What makes it harder is that Thais has always taken her father’s advice in the past, and she’s feeling homesick. Meanwhile, Patrick is processing this disappointment, and is apparently desperate to win over her father. As we have discussed, he has emotional baggage from his childhood.

They’re both struggling with this choice

Thais is torn between the two men she loves most in the world. Patrick is hurt and unsure of what to do. We feel sorry for him but, at the same time, he literally pushed Thais to tell her dad instead of trusting her.

Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre

With less than two weeks before the wedding, Ariela and Biniyam are preparing. Ari looks gorgeous in her gown and veil, of course.

Not everything is going smoothly

Leandro, Ariela’s ex-husband who is also her best friend, cannot make it to the wedding despite being invited. Bini is super weird and insecure about their friendship, so we’re sure that he’s overjoyed, but Ari is bummed out. (A lot of viewers are similarly weird about their friendship, which is sort of sad for the state of people’s lives and relationships, so this will probably go over well with that segment of the fandom)

Bini’s Ethiopian heritage is incorporated into the wedding

They’re setting things up — notably, everything resembles the leaked photos of the wedding from last year. We should also point out that having a Jewish wedding is the first sign of Biniyam doing anything on camera that incorporates Ari’s faith. Ariela, meanwhile, has been to multiple religious events for Bini’s Ethiopian Orthodox beliefs, even making a trip to a holy water site and even submitting their son to a baptism as an infant. Is this the start of Biniyam being more open-minded … or just the one exception?

There is a lot of uncertainty in the air

Ariela and Biniyam both speak about how they’re unsure of their long-term prospects. They are very different people. We all know that they would not be together if they hadn’t had Avi, and it sounds like they know it, too.

But they talk things out and affirm their love before the wedding. They even let Avi pick out his tie.

Leading to this adorable moment

Thank you, Avi

Bilal Hazziez and Shaeeda Sween

Bilal and Shaeeda get dressed up and go out, because the kids are asleep upstairs and they want to have a serious conversation out of earshot. He is nervous because he knows that it’s a serious topic, which … shows him how Shaeeda feels every time that she is about to get another lecture.

See, Shaeeda spoke to an attorney about the prenup

Farid is an attorney and a family friend, and would not advise her to sign it. Considering that it would give Shaeeda no alimony or spousal support or anything else that she didn’t make on her own after divorcing, that sounds like the right call. (Also? Farid didn’t bring this up, but I have never heard of a legitimate prenup where both parties didn’t have attorneys to begin with, ideally paid for by the monied partner if there’s a financial inequality. This is weird)

Shaeeda would like a provision

She loves Bilal and apparently even trusts him, but his prenup would leave her with nothing even if they divorce in 25 years. She’ll need to work on her own during that time to have money, so she’d like him to help her launch her business in Kansas City since she left all of that behind in Trinidad.

First of all, Bilal says that a lot of “love” is just infatuation and a fairy tale

He also balks at her proposal. They should really both have attorneys together in a room who work things out in real time to represent their clients’ respective interests, so it’s weird to hear them discussing this at a coffee shop.

Emily Bieberly and Kobe Blaise

Kobe is getting fitted into his tux — say what you will about the guy, but he looks great! But he has a lot of anxiety right now.

Emily is pregnant again

They aren’t telling anyone, not even her parents. Emily is worried about stress before the wedding. The subtext seems to be that she worries that they won’t attend or won’t pay for the wedding if they learn that she has broken their only rule for her.

drama.While Emily plans for the wedding, Kobe goes to visit a friend

Temperature is his name, and he is the source of the episode’s name … and frankly, a decent share of the drama.

So, how is life?

Kobe tells Temperature that Emily is absolutely wife material … but then tells him that Emily is very controlling.

It turns out that Temperature has some “opinions” about gender roles

He suggests that Kobe and Emily should move to Ohio — a jarring suggestion — and that Kobe should stop letting Emily make decisions.

Kobe betrays Emily’s trust

He can no longer resist, apparently, because he tells Temperature that he and Emily are expecting a second child together.

Yikes

Temperature starts this speech about how Kobe needs to make himself the head of the household

Dramatic much?

Instead of suggesting that Kobe and Emily communicate and make decisions together, he is recommending that Kobe just decide that Emily is sub-human rather than a partner. How is that helping?

He frames this as a cultural thing

In reality, Kobe and Emily are two individuals. Regardless of the cultures of Cameroon or American, their partnership is what matters. They can both be happy, or they can both be miserable. If Kobe goes by Temperature’s advice, they will get the latter.

The family goes out to eat

Emily wants to meet Temperature, so he is invited as well.

Temperature shares his “opinions” with the family

Emily’s parents remain very diplomatic in response, but they aren’t concerned with the idea of Emily being dominated. Emily’s sister, Madeline, makes some particularly great points while refuting Temperature’s toxic nonsense.

Oh, and Kobe is royalty?

Kobe’s father is apparently royalty — in a manner of speaking. It won’t impact their lives in any way, but it’s weird that Emily didn’t know.

Jibri Bell and Miona Bell

Jibri stops by his mother’s therapy office, but not for an appointment. It’s a good place to talk, after all. He takes a seat and says that he hopes that his mother’s warnings and the red flags that she has described about his relationship are wrong.

At the end of the day, he loves Miona … and he thinks that she loves him, too

Jibri’s mom is glad to hear him say this out loud, because that is good to hear. However, the rest of what he says — noting that he is the one who proposed and who brought her here — sounds like he feels indebted to her. So she’s still worried.

TIme for a talk

Jibri’s parents call them in for a chat, and they want to ask about timetables. Jibri immediately asks if they’re kicking them out.

Yes and no

They’re there to ask specific questions. For example, where is the wedding? They vaguely want to marry in Los Angeles — a city of 502 square miles, but don’t know where. How about when? Beyond the K-1 visa deadline, they don’t have any answers there.

Time for the difficult news

Jibri had assumed that his parents telling him that he and Miona can stay with them for a few months meant that he could stay until at least the end of the year. They’re telling him now that, in another month, he needs to find his own place. They explain that they need to set boundaries because Jibri will “take advantage” if there is any uncertainty.

“We’re gonna be out before then”

Jibri declares that this is unhelpful and clearly resents his parents for this, so he decides that they’ll move out before the deadline. On the one hand, we can understand — finding housing is a nightmarish prospect right now (and has been for years). At the same time, this should not be new information for Jibri after his parents kept preparing him for this for so long.

Miona is caught in the middle … sort of

You’d think that she’d just feel like someone at their friend’s house while their parents are fussing at them, but she admits that she’s glad that something like this has happened, because she has also been trying to get Jibri to budge.

Jibri storms off

Meanwhile, Jibri’s parents do tell Miona that if she needs their help with anything, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Kara Bass and Guillermo Rojer

After that unpleasant chat about their future the night before, Guillermo calls his mom. Mostly, it’s to touch base about the wedding. She will be viewing a livestream, and they both mourn his late brother.

She also offers him some marital advice

He talks to her very directly about his and Kara’s issues. She notes that the wedding won’t magically make things go away, but adds that there are things that change about people even after marriage. People pick up new habits, and communication is every bit as important after marrying.

Guillermo feels a sense of peace from that

Talking to his mom really put things into perspective

Guillermo goes and chats with Kara

They are both still reeling from their difficult conversation, but they both still want to be married. (Also, is Kara handwashing a spoon?)

That night, Kara has her bachelorette party

It’s a simple thing — a pajama party at her house, while Guillermo chills downstairs with their dog. Honestly? It sounds pretty ideal. Meanwhile, Kara’s friends roast her by admitting that they never imagined her getting married. Also? Her friends think that Guillermo should be more assertive with her. They also give her pretty good advice that helps her understand Guillermo’s side of things.

Yvette Arellano and Mohamed Abdelhamed

After their ugly confrontation, the two of them make nice. However, Yve seems to almost be apologizing to Mohamed … even when he was the one who, lest we forget, suggested finding a new sponsor so that he can get his green card ASAP. It’s not likely to work, but it’s hurtful to suggest.

Later, Yve shares some of this with Tatiana

They have this chat while she’s giving Tatiana cupping therapy at work. They decide on a spiritual ceremony with the girls to sort of clear the air ahead of Yve’s wedding.

Yvette invites Mohamed

First of all, she would like for him to give her friends another chance. A couple of them asked some intrusive questions when they last met, so he has a negative impression of them. Second of all, Yve has cleaned out her closet, reduced her drinking, and eliminated pork from her diet for him — and also visited a mosque to experience his beliefs. She’d like to see some reciprocity.

Yvette and her squad do these ceremonies during Full Moons and New Moons. They hope to manifest better things in their lives and release negativity. Mohamed does attend, despite his disinterest in both the spiritual and social sides of it.

It’s pretty standard fare

It is incredibly awkward to film any kind of religious or spiritual ceremony, and even more so when it’s unfamiliar to most of the audience, but it’s pretty much what you’d expect. It’s a ritual for turning over a new leaf.

Mohamed is not having a good time

Not participating in the ritual is fine, but Mohamed is also very judgmental that it’s taking place at all.

He explains why he’s so unhappy with itMohamed says that if you want something, you should ask God for it … but that really only applies to his religion and a couple of affiliated ones. Either he doesn’t understand that not everyone shares those beliefs, or he doesn’t want to.

After, Mohamed does have something to say

He tells Yvette’s friends that he felt judged when they first met, and he still doesn’t like them. That they share spiritual beliefs and practices with his fiancee has only made things worse.

And he gives his feedback on the ritual

Calling it “too weird,” he leaves Yve feeling disappointed that he couldn’t approach her life with the same open mind that she used when she visited the local mosque. That is fair.