Remember when Devin was so anxious but managed to make a good impression on Nick’s parents in Korea?
On 90 Day Fiance Season 10, Episode 9, it’s Nick’s turn to make an impression.
“Awkward” doesn’t cover it. After initially seeming just fine, Nick’s behavior in front of Devin’s behavior leaves them all horrified.
Devin Hoofman and Nick Ham
On last week’s episode, Devin and Nick arrived in the US. Nick met her parents for the first time when they picked them up at the airport. That … was it. Weird, weird editing choices this season. Anyway, that was such an unremarkable moment that we just saved this screenshot for this week. It’s the only one that you’ll need.
On the road
Nick quickly sees how different so much of America is. Like most people in the world — and many Americans — Nick mostly thinks of cultural centers when he imagines American life. Obviously, Devin told him about Searcy. But crossing the Mississippi and leaving Memphis (a genuinely large city) on a 2-hour drive to a small town in Arkansas gives Nick an eyeful. And a lot of understandable anxiety.
Welcome home!
One of the (admittedly few) advantages of living in the middle of nowhere is housing prices. Devin’s parents have a nice looking house! A middle class home, or at least it would have been a couple of decades ago when adults with jobs expected to be able to own homes one day without a death in the family or a lottery win. To Nick, he tells the camera, it looks like the home of a rich person. Why? Because life is different in Korea.
Nick gets a tour of the house
Inside, he meets the family. With Devin’s brother and one of her sisters living there, it will be a household of six. Nick is feeling overwhelmed (he just moved to a different hemisphere), and the family seems to understand that. So far, so good.
Searcy sounds kind of dreadful
They walk around downtown, which has a very “aging mainstreet” vibe. Devin shows Nick a wall of murals where she spraypainted a skateboarder years ago. But she also warns him that this town is so small that a lot of places are closed on Sundays. Not a few places — it sounds like enough that it’s a bad day to shop for just about anything.
Gross!
They find a Confederate monument, which is never a good thing outside of a museum or a landfill. America doesn’t tend to have monuments glorifying a lot of other defeated enemies — just the guys who were willing to kill to defend slavery. Nick is familiar enough with US history to know what that means, and it’s unsettling. He’s not a Black man, but he’s a man of color. Racism impacts different groups in different ways, but Nick is dreading finding this out for himself. And he knows how bad anti-Asian racism has grown in recent years.
A family get-together
Nick meets more of Devin’s loved ones as they fry catfish fillet outdoors. They ask what Koreans generally think of Americans — always an interesting question. Unfortunately, Nick’s answer is “greasy foods” and people being fat. It’s rude and deeply weird. Nick quickly clarifies that this isn’t something that he thinks. But then he ruins it.
“No wonder you’re a piggy”
Nick very explicitly body-shames Devin in front of her gathered family. Now, he doesn’t intend for this teasing to be hurtful or malicious. But his intentions only matter up to a point. He specifically calls out how Devin gets fast food, and even makes a move to grab her belly. It’s obvious that Nick doesn’t understand how abhorrent this behavior is. It’s almost hard to imagine that even cultural barriers could explain this.
“Everyone doesn’t like that”
Nick had already been digging himself into a hole by saying that everyone in Korea thinks of Americans as fatties who eat greasy food. Especially since they’d just eaten fried catfish. But body-shaming Devin, whether she says that it bothers her or not, has her entire family’s body language and facial expression setting off warning bells. Too late, Nick realizes that he’s screwed up, and there’s really nothing that he can say. No amount of “pet name” talk makes that extended teasing about Devin’s weight and diet normal.
It’s probably time for a talk
Devin’s dad says that he’ll probably just need to talk to Nick one-on-one. Obviously, it’s not something that he wants to do. He doesn’t want to have to do this. But he needs to understand that this behavior cannot continue. And, as other relatives point out, Nick could one day be the father of their grandchildren. The idea of him teasing Devin like this is unsettling. Obviously, if he said anything of the sort in front of or especially TO children … they need to help him understand how vile this is. And honestly? Only part of this is a cultural difference. Some rudeness transcends cultural boundaries.